Project: Razorpool
by Sugar N1ps
Summary: What if the Evolution universe had a young hi-tech version of Deadpool? Oh boy. Charles is gonna have major headaches.
1. My Origin Story by Razorpool

**A/N: Whelp time to do Marvel… Why do I feel like I need to rephrase that? No matter. This time I'm going to be a superhero, or something close. And Deadpool's involved, for a while.**

"What do you mean for a while? I'm Deadpool! I should be involved in the story a lot! You shouldn't make me angry!"

 **A/N: But, you are a key factor in my character's life. Hmm… tell you what, you'll be involved in another story. Besides you are way above the X-men's league, they'll just weigh you down.**

"I like your thinking. What do you say you and I go get a sh*t ton of beer?"

 **A/N: I'm too young for liquor, but sure. Uhh, start the story.**

* * *

Do you ever ask yourself, why you are here? Why you do what you do? How come you act like… well you? What kind of shake would you want? Should you have fries with that shake? Those are the questions… I don't give a crap about! Okay maybe the last two I care about. I live on the planet Earth of course. And I was living on the streets of New York, of course you nerds knew about that already. Walking the streets in a stereotypical trench coat and trench hat. It was raining down hard for some reason. I mean the weather forecast didn't call for rain today. Let's cut to the chase. It all began with a program we are all too familiar with. Come on, guess. Have you figured it out yet? It's the Weapon X program. If you guessed right, congratulations you get a cookie… Go buy a cookie for yourself because I'm not buying(duh). Let me just skip a space for a sec.

There we go. So after Weapon X was a success… I guess, I mean they did give him the fictional metal bone job but ol' Wolvie isn't under their control, they decided that they should try again, but with my mentor, Deadpool, they failed again. And then they decided to improve again. I don't feel like describing it now...So anyway, before the Weapon X fiasco with me, I was just a 12 year old brown-skinned African-American with some… issues… I'm sorry I just love doing these three dots(innuendo, hah). I was a problem child, not many kids liked me because they thought I was crazy. All I did was talk inappropriately and did weird dances in the class. ( **Yeah, nothing crazy about that.** ) Hey, I need to tell this story since my name is in the title, so just wait smart voice. Skip another space because this feels like an essay. I hate school. Add that to my wikipedia page... Hold on, my agent is calling. Hello. What, I don't have a Wikipedia page? I'm just an OC? F#%k!

I was walking down the streets of Manhattan during the night wearing a red hoodie with black polka dots, along with blue jeans and regular black vans. My hair was pitch black, messy, and very spiky like an anime character, and my eye color was brown. The streets were bustling with people and their is no Spider-Man because this is a different universe and this is all about me, and the X-men I guess. I was carelessly walking to the corner store to buy some food for myself since I didn't have a family. My parents died because of some dude that can control metal, and he thought because they were like professional geneticists, they would try and make a cure, oh, I'm sorry, "POISON", that would permanently get rid of the thing that makes a mutant tick. This left me mortified, not enough to hate mutants, oh no, just that particular one. I was sent to a orphan home and ran away since no one wanted to adopt me and I also didn't want to be adopted. Wait, I know what you are thinking. What is your name Razorpool? Well, surprise suckers! It's one of those stories where you don't know the main character's real name until some point of time. Besides, I don't know myself. Anywho again, I bought like what, six bags of juice, beer, a magazine full of pictures of hot women in bikinis, steak, chips, and other stuff.

"That'll be $6.12." The owner of the store said. Wow, cheap price but okay.

I give him the exact price of money.

"Thanks kid." He hands me back the stuff not caring that a little kid just bought a bottle of beer.

As I'm about to walk home, I see these group of people standing in my way as I travel down an alleyway. They wear some lab coats and most of them are wearing glasses.

"Ah, the son of two of the most well-known geneticist." One of the dudes say. "How have you been?"

I was confused on the matter since I had no idea who these people are, still till this day. I stepped back a little but then stepped forward. Really don't see the point in that.

"Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me." I put my hands up to silence them. "You heard about my porn obsession. Come on guys, you have to understand, I'm a teenager, we do this stuff all the time."

"According to our records, you're 12 years old." Said a woman wearing a white lab coat with dark rimmed glasses.

I pause for a second. "Well umm… it's important for me to read this-"

"Shut it, listen we know about your parents death and that you are currently having difficulty living by yourself." She tips her glasses. "But we can help only if you come with us."

"Ooooooo, I'd love for you guys to help but this seems kinda shady… Like shadow shady." As I begin to walk past them I feel my shoulder get pierced with a needle-like object, wait, it is a needle.

This causes me to instantly to fall on my knees breathing in and out heavily. "H-h-hey, what gives? I thought we were compadres. Why you gotta treat a black kid this?"

Most of the people sigh in annoyance.

"He better not be like the last guy."

"He wont be."

My vision slowly starts to fade away and my hearing starts to get a bit fuzzy.

"This time he'll be a success."

* * *

Seconds later, I blacked out and fell to the ground dropping my stuff. But it felt like my body was being dragged across the ground.

I wake up feeling tired and my vision was still messed up.

"I-i-is this the strip club? Cherry, stop playing games with me. It's Tuesday, not Friday." I try to get up but I see that I am strapped to an operation table. "Oh, so this isn't strip club #20. Must be like about 30-50-"

"Just shut up, I don't see how you are related to your parents." A man with glasses who seems to be a bit old said. Dude needs some wrinkle cream. He steps towards me slowly. And the lights come on showing a lot of scientist who seem to be studying me by writing down on their clipboards and looking at the monitors. "But one thing's for sure, your parents owe us and since they are not available at any time, you're gonna pay the price for them."

"Look man, I don't have any money. You know I just spent it on my stuff. Speaking of which, where is said stuff?" I still try to break loose from the table but they were strapped on too tight.

"Don't bother trying to get out. Wolverine had a hard time breaking free from those straps." He ejects a needle into my right chest. "And now, you are the chosen candidate to be the perfect weapon that can down even the most powerful mutant, including a certain Lehnsherr. Then humanity will be safe from the dangers of mutantkind."

I blackout again(Jesus, is there gonna be a lot of blacking out?), and for months they have experimented on me, first they've injected with dozens of chemicals and stuffz(not a typo), they all hurt like hell, I swear one day I'll get my vengeance on them. My veins were constantly burning from the injections. And I was also forced to train against drones and even other subjects. The first fight I did I won, and that was a miracle. The drones were equipped with swords, lasers, and were like ninjas so you can imagine that it was pretty difficult. I had learned a lot of moves that would help me in a fight and other moves that even I couldn't predict myself.

And then, I began to hear voices in my head. Two to be exact. One seemed to be the rational one at times and the other seemed to be… the exact opposite. (That's right. We should go get cheeseburgers after this.) ( **We can't, we're trapped you idiot**.) (Maybe we're just letting them think we are trapped.) ( **Cameras are constantly watching us, drones are patrolling our cell 24/7, and we get tranquilized heavily everyday because of our advanced healing factor. Are you still gonna tell me that we aren't trapped?** ) (Maybe baby.) ( **Ugh. Sometimes I wonder why we deal with her.** ) Guy and girl be quiet, I'm still telling the story.

So yeah, I got equipped with two tech red energy swords that slice good and vibrate at a high frequency to be like Antarctic Vibranium. And then they cut off my right arm(my fav limb) and left leg(meh), along with my hands(meh again) and replaced them with robotic limbs. The rest of my body had a black exterior with red lines that resembled circuitry like my tech energy swords and the main thing being black like a ninja with my robotic limbs exposed. The robotic arm and leg also have red energy glowing from the thingy spots. My thighs had like armor on them, the vent area was red. The top over my torso was the most armored, on my left and right glowed red. They cover my face with a helmet that resembled a motorcycle helmet with a red X acting as the visor glowing.

In layman's terms I look like Deadpool if he decided to be a high tech Snake Eyes. (Awesome.)

Those experiments have also manifest a power inside me. A power that allows me to wield raw kinetic energy. With this I can cast protective force fields and crush my enemies.

* * *

The scene now cuts to me cutting a big drone down into two pieces under a second. Stryker looks from the glass above and grins.

"Excellent, we finally got a perfect soldier, no, a weapon. Maybe we'll be lucky if he meets Weapon X. And let's be honest he'll kill him, and Magneto. Even Xavier wouldn't stand a chance."

"You might wanna rephrase that last sentence." Said a familiar voice. His hat shadows his face.

Stryker pauses and turns to his employee. "And who are you? And why aren't you at your post?"

"I'm Mr. Wilson. Here to deliver a present for the weapon."

"Wait a second. The experiment does not have any relatives on record or even off records."

The figure takes off his hat and reveals to be Deadpool with his mask still on. "You're right. My mistake. This present is for you!"

Deadpool quickly opens the present and it reveals to be his fist and it punches Stryker in the face. Stryker falls to the ground cold and Deadpool puts his fist back on runs to my door.

( _ **Why did you cut off your hand? You could've just punched him normally.**_ ) ( _We did punch him normally. His way of normal.)_

"Thank you. Now. How do I open this door?" He saw that it was reinforced with a very strong metal. "Thanks narrator, we couldn't have possibly figured that out ourselves." He said sarcastically.

It's for the reader. Why are you here? I forgot.

"I'm here to bust you out."

Why?

"Because, you're considered family by my terms and family doesn't leave each other behind. Sometimes. Besides,there's no way I'm letting a kid your age suffer what I had to go through." ( _ **Hey nephew, how are you doing with the idiot's niece?**_ ) ( **I sometimes question my life choices in this mind.** ) (Hey, I'm not that bad. All I like to do is suggest perverted tendencies and crimes against humanity. Is that so wrong?) ( _ **Yes**_ ; **Yes.** ) ( _That's my girl. I'm so proud._ )

Hey, can you get me out of here already?

"Alright, alright. But first, why are you wearing metallic underwear?"

They're like underwear for superheroes.

Deadpool slices down the lock with one of his katana blades. And I flip outta there.

"Why didn't you do that before?" I'm glad I don't have to talk in narration anymore.

"Didn't feel like it at first. Now come on!"

"Wait!" I grab my teleportation belt, which looks like a utility belt with the same color scheme as me, and put it on.

"Hold on, I've just realized. Why didn't you use your swords? They act like Antarctic Vibranium. And you can use the force. You could've been escaped."

"Lazy writing. Just like how Spider-Man gets hit with bullets and etc. Let's go!"

As we run out of the facility, lots of guards run after us with guns. Just guns.

"Whelp, time to kill 2,001 or more soldier assholes. And maybe some cheeseburgers." I take out my dual tech swords.

Deadpool looks at me like a dad whose kid just graduated school.

"*Sniff*, you're like the little brother I've always wanted." He said as he shot a henchmen in the head.

The soldiers responded by firing a sh#tload of bullets. We responded by deflecting said sh#tload of bullets with our dual blades. And began to chop down the goons.

"Thanks Deadpool, how did you know I was here? Was it Facebook?" I sliced off 10 soldiers heads as I ask him.

"Well I was 'visiting' S.H.I.E.L.D to see if they had any chimichangas and overheard them talking about a project from Weapon X. Unfortunately, they had no chimichangas." ( _ **You mean you just snuck on board to get some S.H.I.E.L.D dirt.**_ ) ( _No the real plan was to see Black Widow in action, if you know what I mean._ ) "Maybe just a little bit of all three together."

"I don't think Black Widow is in this universe." I tell him as I force crush a goon. "I think they can tell I was talking me."

"Are you kidding me? Well, I'll just have to settle for the strip club."

"This whole time we've been talking, we already killed all the guard."

Both of us look at the pool of dead bodies. Most were either chopped up, pierced, or even shot in the head. Either way, it was a bloody bath.

"Wow, you're good. But not as good as me. Well, I think you're as good as me, since you're technically my clone."

"Thanks. Lucky for me, you came just before they implanted a chip in my head. I doubt that would've worked given that I can't even control myself sometimes." ( **I totally agree.** )

"Preach to the choir. Hey, why didn't you kill Stryker when he was down?" He asked as we walked out the base.

"It would have backfired on me in the future somehow. But if if I see him again, he's gonna wish Wolverine killed him."

(Let's get some cheeseburgers. I'm tired from this kill fest.) ( _No, we're getting chimichangas.)_ ( **Someone decide so these two can shut up**.) ( _ **Why don't we have both?**_ )

"Yes, we can combine both-"

"To make a hybrid." Me and Deadpool finish off.

I now realize that it was snowing. "Where are we?"

"Oh right. Welcome to Canada. Where a lot of killers are born. Besides Cleveland and New Orleans."

"Can we just cut to us eating food at some fast food place?" I ask rudely.

"Yeah this place sucks."

* * *

The scene cuts to us eating our favorite food combine at this fast food restaurant.

A lot of people found it weird that a high tech pre-teen and dude in lady bug pajamas are their favorite foods for some reason. And let me tell you… it was awesome. For the past months I wasn't allowed to eat and my healing factor sustained me. But what sucked was that I couldn't take my mask/helmet thing off. Luckily, a mouth hole opens up for me to eat.

"*Mmm*. Yeah, whysh can'tsh you take it offsh?" Deadpool asked while still chewing his food. "So whatsch, you guysh have a problems withs mes talksing withs my mouthsh full?" ( _ **It's rude.**_ ) ( _You're mom was rude last night.)_

"There's like a lock on hear that I'm not able to find or even unlock."

"I bet that you wonder everyday what your face looks like now. I wish that was my case."

"A little bit. I only wonder when I was wondering when I can eat a cheeseburger again."

A few seconds went by and Deadpool speaks up.

"Thank you. Now come on kid, let's get to training." Deadpool gets up and exits.

I sit in my seat dumbfounded for a moment.

"Training! ( **Training** /Training!)" I teleport outside to where Deadpool was standing texting on his flip phone. "What do you mean by training?"

"Training as in the action of teaching a person or animal a particular skill or type of behavior. That training. Only, it's awesome because you are being trained by me." Deadpool starts running. "Now come on! Those bad guys aren't going to kill themselves for money now!"

I just sigh and run on the snow after Deadpool.

* * *

Training with Deadpool was… weird. It wasn't professional or basic. It was just Deadpool. He mainly taught me sword moves since I was only equipped with swords. We had a lot dance offs and I won only a couple of times. We also watch Star Wars, and this helped me better control my Force-like powers. I killed goons and mutants with him at times and we laughed and joked while doing it most of the time. Two years have passed and Deadpool said my training was done. And we go to the taco stand in Manhattan.

"You have done well grasshopper. Now you are killing machine. Which isn't any different from before since you was made to be a killing machine already." … "Anyway congratulations. Now go out there and be Razorpool, Razorpool. And I won't appear until a certain chapter or a side story of your life." ( _Aw man._ ) (I'll miss you uncle!)

I turn the opposite way with a taco in my left robo hand. I think I'll just travel around for a bit.

"And I'll be sure to get all the b#%ches during my travels. And watch plenty of television. X-rated." I said before teleporting.

"*Sniff*, they grow up so fast." Deadpool wipes a tear from his eye. "End the chapter here, I'm going back to my comic book."


	2. Strategy R for Razorpool

**A/N: Just start. Oh, and don't forget to leave a review and share this story.**

* * *

As I just started to officially venture out on my own, I come across a town called Bayville in New York. It was seemingly nice, but I made sure to wear a trench coat and hat. Hey, if it worked for the TMNT, then why not me? I bought grape juice from a nearby store and exit into the night.

(Aww, come on! I wanted beer!) ( **We can get beer later.** ) (I want beer now!) ( **Ugh, how am I still here?** )

"Guys keep it down. I'm trying to just take a walk before trying to find a job."

(But, you are too young to work.) ( **He means mercenary work.** ) (You mean work on your mom?)

"Badum tss."

(Hey, how come every time you speak your visor glows?)

"I don't know. It just does that." I said walking near a high school(uh oh, I smell an introduction).

I kept walking to the school and saw that the high school was currently having a game… a football game.

(All right! A football game!) ( **Why are you excited for a football game?** ) (Isn't it obvious? Because where there are football games, there are guys.)

"Sometimes I forget I have a female voice in my head."

(I'm glad I'm in a guy's body. That means I have eye candy 24/7.)

"What?"

(Oh nothing.) ( **Didn't sound like nothing to me.** ) (Be quiet.) ( **I say that to you plenty of times.** ) (And I don't care!)

"Can we just watch the football game already? I need to trash talk somebody's team."

* * *

At the bleachers, I take my seat and eat my taco. Most of the audience cheer for their team along with the cheerleaders, some people find it weird that a guy wearing a trench coat and hat is eating a taco including some dude wearing crimson shades. Why is he wearing shades at nighttime? Is he blind?! Some Matt Murdock sh#t! ( **You done?** )

Anyway, the game continues with the Bayville team getting a touchdown.

"Wow, look at those hot cheerleaders. I'd give them a touchdown on the field. If you know what I mean."

( **Sadly, I do know what you mean. But I never said I didn't feel the same.** ) (Ugh, boys.)

I then spot a red-headed beauty who takes a picture of the guy who feel on his back for the touchdown. The dude in the red shades plays with a coin in his hand.

"Boo, the other team sucks so bad, they make Steve Urkel look like a MVP!" I shouted.

(Yeah!) ( **You tell em, Pool.** **Their play is so bad. Change the strategy coach!** )

"Thanks guys. My money sense is tingling."

( **Here's a fact. Razorpool actually has money sense. Not joking.** )

I hear the blind dude drop his coin.

"Aw man, my cash." He complained.

He and the blond kid next to him see someone steal another person's wallet.

"Hey check it. Looks like someone decided to take up a collection."

"Whoa, should we call the cops?"

The shaded dude gets up out of his seat to check it out. "Hold that option open."

( **Aren't you gonna do something about that?** )

"Nope. I'm just gonna continue to look at the smoking hot red-head."

I hear a sound, like a disgusting frog dude got knocked down into the mud. And cash was dropped. (I love the money sense.) ( **Come on Razorpool. You know you have to do this.** **This necessary for the plot.** )

"It's not necessary for me." I get up out my seat. "But I'm only going down there for the money."

I walk down there and find blind guy trying to defend this really ugly dude from three jocks. One of them holds up said ugly dude.

"How bout we have him give back the cash? No harm done." I must've missed some parts.

"Yeah, yeah." The slimy thief holds the stolen money up. "See? H-here's the money."

"What do you care about this scuzzle, Summers?"

"Hmph, not much." He crosses his arms in a B-boy stance. " But I'm not crazy about three against one either. So how about we settle this peacefully."

"I think me and my buds here are gonna squash this slimeball. So you and your sunglasses at night can just bail."

The jock holding up the frog faced freak throws said frog face down into the mud and kicks it in his face. The shaded dude tips his glasses revealing a red glow.

( **Razorpool, just help him.** ) (Or give him a wedgie.)

"I'm only here for the money. I'm not a hero. And now, I wanna watch Freddy Frogface get beat to a pulp."

"I said knock it off!"

I see that blind guy holds the jock in a full nelson and throws him into his friends. As this happened, the frog freak tries to make a break for it. Keyword, try.

"He's getting away." One of the bone heads say.

I stop the frog freak dead in his tracks but the others thought he escaped.

"Wh-what?" He looks at me and is a little upset. "Move it punk!"

I grab him off the ground by the collar with little effort.

"I'm sorry. What did you call me?"

He sees my shadowed face glowed a big red X every time I speak and saw my robotic hands.

"What are you? A robot?"

I throw him on the ground hard and pick him up again punching him in the face. I close on his face and take my hat and trench coat off.

"Boy I wish that were the case. Now, where's the money? And talk fast. Those cheeseburgers don't pay for themselves."

"I-I-I dropped them under the bleachers. Where I was ganged up on. Please let me go."

I dropped him on the ground.

"It better be, or I'm gonna chop you down faster than a butcher with a hooker." I take out my tech swords to prove my point.

He literally hops away like a frog fast from the scene.

(Now let's get that money!) ( **Calm down. It's not like the money is gonna blow up in flames or anything.** )

Just like that, a beam of red energy hits a propane tank that was near us causes a huge explosion. I get up from the wreckage like nothing happened.

"Oh my god! The money!"

( **Can you stop thinking about the stupid money!?** ) (Money matters man. That triple M doh.)

"Let's go see if the money's okay. I need to buy a Playboy Magazine along with the cheeseburgers."

(* **Sighs*** )

I teleport to where the bleachers blew up, but far enough for others not to see me. The same red headed girl from before walking to the still burning wreckage. I sneak by to spy on her.

"Hmm. It's too hot to touch. At least with my hands." That's what she said. Anyway, she holds her hand out to left up a burning wooden pillar and the blind dude's shades. So this means she must have telekinesis. She sees the blind dude sitting on ground covering his eyes.

"You okay?" She asked as she puts the shades on his face.

He opens his eyes when he had his shades on. "Jean? Oh wow, I-"

"Shh, I know." She interrupts before looking at the injured jock being sent to the ambulance. "Look, you better split."

(Why does it look like she wants to do it with him under the bleachers?) ( **Please stop.** **It looks like Murdock was the cause of this. What do we do?** )

"I'll just steal money from him. And maybe break his shades."

The jock groans in pain.

"Take it easy, son. Try not to move." The doc said.

A mustached officer checks out the damage done to the jerk. "What happened here?"

The doc puts a flashlight on his eye. "Ow, my head. Can't remember."

"Concusion. He's been hit hard."

"Hmm." The officer looks over to the wreckage. "Looks to me like…"

I then sensed a strange force at work and see that the cop looks like he was brain dead for a moment.

"Uh, of course. Must've been a leak in that propane tank."

The red headed- I mean Jean leaves the shaded dude to check on the jock.

"Duncan, are you alright?" She ask in a worried tone.

"Hey Jean. Yeah, you know me. Skull like concrete." He hurts his head just by tapping it.

"Aww. You poor baby."

Over the distance, the blind dude seems to be mad that Duncan is getting all the attention. Aw, looks like someone is a wittle jealous. The toad freak goes next to him.

"Uh, thanks. Really, you know?"

"Yeah." His savior said before he walked off.

The toad freak crouches in a frog position and pays close attention to a fly. The fly goes behind him and in response he turns around and catches it with his frog tongue. When he did that, he sees me in the distance standing on the PRIDE sign facing him.

"AHHHHHHH!" He hops away in fear.

(Ewww, I can smell him from over here.) ( **Couldn't agree with you more.** )

I teleport away from the scene and see a gold limousine with a bald guy in it from the exit.

"My money senses are tingling."

( **Gold. He must be rich.** ) (Ooooo, I love it when you talk money.) ( **You love it when anyone talks money.** )

* * *

I follow the golden limousine to a train station. The bald man seems to handicapped since he's in a wheelchair. And the driver seems to be an African woman with white hair, a purple-ish scrunchie, a white shirt, and... OMG! She's got jewelry!

(Money, here we come.) ( **So, how are you gonna kill her? Teleport her to a volcano? Teleport behind her and chop her head off? Or force choke her?** )

"Not gonna kill her. I don't feel like it now. And my teleportation has limited range. Only the last two are possible. I'll just steal the riches right under her nose."

A train appears and a blond haired boy exits from it.

"Kurt?"

"That's not Kurt." He points his head to a robed figure holding two duffel bags. "This is." Ze bald man looks at the African woman. "Storm, what happened to all of your jewelry?"

Ororo pats down the areas of where her jewelry was supposed to be and is outraged.

"Who is responsible for this?!"

* * *

A thunderstorm was heard outside where I was playing with the new jewelry I borrowed on a rooftop near the limousine.

"I'm gonna eat good tonight. I mean, we are gonna eat good tonight."

(Ain't that the truth. She never saw it coming.) ( **We are the masters of stealth.** **We should celebrate later after we see where that limousine is going.** )

The three people exit out of the train station and into the limousine.

"Charles, I feel like someone is following us." Ororo says.

"Strange, I don't feel any other presence besides us. Maybe you're just stressed."

"Of course I'm stressed! My valuables has just been stolen right under my nose! Didn't you see anything?!"

"It's very odd. Not a lot of people go by me unnoticed."

"I think I may have say someone. Zis person looked like a shadow with little red zings, and I could've sworn it waved at me before I blinked and he disappeared. Like it wanted me to see it." Said the robed figure in an accent.

"We better keep a lookout then. This person may be a mutant looking to cause trouble. But we will try to help him or her. If there really is a person."

They continue talking and don't know that I'm laying on top of the speeding limousine.

"I'm glad I pawned this stuff so quickly. These suckers are gonna be even more pissed off when I steal their food."

(Ooooo, more crime. I like it when you're a bad boy.) ( **Oh brother.** ) (More of an, oh sister.)

* * *

They arrive to a mansion and I quickly teleport into some nearby bushes. I watch them enter the house. Well, I guess I gotta wait till morning I guess.

(Just go in there and steal the food!) Alright, geez.

I teleport near the window and then into the mansion. I jump up to the ceiling when I saw Jean approaching me. Good lord, she's gotten even hotter since the last time I saw her.

( **If this story had a boner meter, it'd be high right now.** ) (Yay, references to the Deadpool video game!)

I landed softly on the ground when she passed me and continue to find their kitchen. I knew there were cameras around here, luckily my enhancements help me go on undetected. Quickly, I found the kitchen, teleported to the fridge, opened it up, grabbed all the healthy stuff and put it on the floor, and teleport out of there with the fridge.

(We hit the motherload baby!) ( **That was too easy. Their security sucks ass.** )

"Like taking candy from a high ass drug addict."

* * *

The scene cuts to morning at the mansion. I ate all their food in one night, damaged their fridge with my handy dandy force powers to make it look like Jean did it, and returned said damaged fridge. I snuck into the mansion again this time stalking the shaded dude going to a room knocking on the door.

"Give it up Jean, it's hopeless."

Oh my, Jean's there. Better shape up my hair… Oh wait.

"I'll be done in a second." She says brushing her beautiful red hair with her powers. How do I know this? I teleported(man I'm doing a lot of teleporting but it's such a cool power) to the window of the room outside and I'm balanced on the ledge.

"Come on, we're gonna be late."

"Almost done." She holds the mirror with telekinesis.

"Look, you want me to blow this door-" He pauses when she opens the door. "down."

She tips his chin with her fingertips flirtatiously as she walks by him.

"So are we going or what?"

Blind dude smiles like a spell was casted upon his dorky self as he walks downstairs with Jean and me sneaking behind them stealthy.

"We're heading out Professor!" Shades announced loudly.

"Just a moment you two. Come here. I'd like you to meet someone."

I teleported(get used to it guys, I'm going to be doing this a lot) on top of one of the big book shelves and see the two mutants enter the room. I also see the robed figure standing next to Charles.

"This is Kurt Wagner. He arrived late last night."

"Hey Kurt. This is Jean. And I'm Scott. How you doing?" Scott extends his hand out to Kurt for a handshake.

Is it me, or does Kurt look a little… blue? Like a Smurf. He better not be clumsy.

( **Probably a mutant thing. Not all mutants look human. I heard rumors that some hide in the sewers underground to get away from persecution.** ) (Ooooooo, foreshadow.)

Charles sees that Kurt is a little nervous. "Kurt, you are among friends here."

Kurt takes his hand out of his pocket revealing to have a blue hand with three fingers to shake Scott's hand.

"Hello." He said shyly.

Blind dude is surprised by this and his face doesn't hide it one bit. This causes Kurt to quickly take back his deformed hand. The Professor clears his throat to break the awkwardness.

"I was just telling Kurt how I set up this institute for gifted youngsters. Youngsters whose gifts are not always an asset. Right Scott?"

Scott quickly gets depressed. "So uh, you heard about last night."

"Difficult not to. It was on all the news channels." Charles says seriously.

(Oooooo, someone's in deep trouble.) ( **Hey, he tried to do the right thing.** )

"Keyword, tried." I whispered.

"It was a bad situation, and there was an accident. I'm sorry."

(Sorry!? But all that money? Gone down in literal flames! Thanks to Laser Guy! WAHHHHHHHHHH!) ( **There, there, everything will be alright.** **There are always other dollar bills out there.** )

"I know. Fortunately, no one was badly hurt and the true cause was not discovered. But you must be more careful Scott."

"Come on Professor! I'm packing a bazooka behind each eyeball! What do you want from me!?"

"I know I want my money but I'm glad that Ororo lady paid the price for him." I whisper.

"Control, Scott. That's what you're here to learn. That why you're all here." He turns to Jean and Kurt. "Scott's eyes emit a destructive optic blast beam."

Kurt takes his hood off revealing his fuzzy blue skin. (Aw, he's not a Smurf.)

"Cool." Said the blue German furball.

"How bout you Kurt? Got a special gift that brought you here?" The sexy Jean asks.

Kurt teleports and leaves behind… *sniff* *sniff* *sniff*... sulfur smoke? Or I think it's also called brimstone. And then appears a few feet away from them.

"Maybe."

"Whoa." Jean and Scott said simultaneously.

"I can teleport too."

( **Why are you jealous? They've never met you.** )

"I'm not jealous. And I'm surprised they haven't noticed me yet."

"I'll be helping Kurt get settled in. We can talk more tonight."

As Scott and Jean walk out, Professor calls out to Jean.

"Oh, Jean, learn to control your anger and not take it out on the fridge."

Jean is confused by this accusation.

* * *

The scene cuts to Frogface sitting outside of the Bayville High Principal's Office. He skids his feet across the floor while he waits and startled when the principal bust the door open. She seems to be a woman with glasses, a serious face, and a casual female principal suit.

"Mr. Tolansky!" She announces very sternly.

Tolansky hops to it and enters the principal's office to the chair. The principal is disgusted by the smell of the dude.

"Ugh. Excuse me a moment while I open a window." She says as she does just that. "There. Now, Toad." She stands in front of her desk towards Toad. "Shall we talk about your new friend, Scott Summers?"

"What about him?" He ask as he digs his ear. "Heh, he's cool. Heck, if it wasn't for him, them jocks woulda stomped my skull flat." 'But I wish he protected me from the other guy. I think he would've hurt worse than the whole school football team combined.'

"Yes, well, Summers, as you've noticed has special powers. There are others like him. We need to know more." She grabs his shoulders from behind. Is this going, where I think it's going? "Much more."

"Aw look, I don't wanna-"

"Silence!" Toad sees that the principal has transformed into a monster with a change in voice. "You'll do as you're told! Understand!

* * *

Back at the mansion, I'm still sneaking around and I sometimes walk too out in the open, and still, I was not spotted. I see that Xavier and Ororo is giving Kurt a tour and stops by his room. I sneak into the room ninja style and go by unnoticed.

"Whoa. Zhis bedroom, iz mine?" He looks around amazed the average room.

"Of course, Kurt. That's why your parents sent you to us. Because they knew that you would be happy here."

"Happy? How can I be happy when I look like this?" He asks as he looks in the mirror. "I scare people."

Ororo puts the package that I never mention she had on his bed.

"Hmmm, I have a surprise for you, Kurt." He takes out a wrist watch. Wow dude, you're really that cheap? "Put this on."

Kurt puts on the wrist watch and he seems to transform into a human version of himself. "I don't believe it!"He still looks ugly. "I-, I'm normal!" Still ugly, just saying.

"Of course you're normal Kurt. But not because of that machine."

"Storm is right Kurt. Normal is what you truly are. Never think otherwise. This is just a disguise." He presses the watch and Kurt's disguise goes away. "A disguise so that you'll not be persecuted by those who do not understand your gifts."

"I understand Professor, but nonetheless you rule!"

When Baldy and Weather Lady exit the room, Kurt opens the package and sees his very own X-Men uniform.

* * *

The scene cuts to Bayville High, in the halls Scott goes by his locker and meets his blond friend.

"Hey, see you in the cafeteria."

"Just grabbing my lunch. Save me a seat."

When everyone leaves the halls, Toad goes to Scott and annoys him with his frog moves.

"Yo Summers." He jumps up on top of Scott's locker. "What's up?"

Scott scans the hallways and see that there is no one around. "That's quite a jump."

"Like it? Surprised you can see it through them smokies of yours. Here, let me help." Frogface uses his tongue to snatch away Scott's shades.

Scott quickly covers his eyes.

"Hey!"

"What's the matter Summers? Afraid to, open your eyes?" Really nigga? ( **Hey, language!** ) What, I'm black. So it's okay.

"Obviously we both know what'll happen if I do. Now gimmie back my shades before I go nuclear on ya."

"You got it!"

He uses his tongue to hand him his shades back all slimy and stuffz(not a typo).

"Well, as you can see. You and me, we got something in common."

"Yeah. Now we're both slimy." He wipes the slime off his shades.

"Nope. I'm mean we ain't like other people." He jumps down from the lockers.

"And your point is?"

"I just wanna talk." Toadstool than latches on the lockers. "You know, get to know each other better. You know." He tongue snatches his lunchbag and swallows the whole thing. (Ewwww!) ( **Why do you find it gross? Your inside the mind of Deadpool's clone**.) (I don't like frogs okay!) ( **Oh, I get it. It's a girl thing.** ) (It's not a girl thing! I remember seeing this frog documentary… let's just say there are some things even I shouldn't see.) Shhh! We gotta continue this! "Maybe, do lunch."

Scott gets tired of this and walks off. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, wait a moment!" He shouts out to Scott.

Scott hears this and turns around. Todd hops towards him.

"What is it now?"

"So last night there was this ninja guy who threaten to turn me into a frog kabob for the money I've stolen. I was wondering if you knew something about that."

"Look Todd, I don't feel like playing games with you right now. So don't waist my time with this made up story about a ninja." Look who's talking, guy who shoots lasers out of his eyes? Anyway, he walks to the cafeteria and Toad stands up.

"But I'm not making this up!" He shouts.

Tolansky hops out a nearby window from the scene.

* * *

CHANGE SCENE! Back at the mansion, I'm spying on the Professor who was reading a book(okay, I'll be honest, I checked around Jean's room for a while) and an alarm blares out and red lights flash.

(Oh no, did we get caught?!) ( **No, I know that we weren't spotted by anything or anyone. Must be something else.** )

"Guys, I'm trying to see what's going on."

The wall opens revealing a secret room. (Ooooo. I hope there's gold in there.) Baldy wheels on into the room and I follow him in there seeing some sort of supercomputer. ( **I think that's Cerebro. The big computer that's able to track down almost any mutant.** ) (Almost?) ( **There's like one mutant I know that it can't track at times. I think the dude had the ability to manipulate metal.** ) (Then he's no friend of ours.) ( **And I think that it can't track us too.)**

So anyway before my narration was interrupted again by two annoying voices in my head, Baldy goes and presses two buttons that show a map of Bayville with a red dot somewhere.

"Hmm, so out in the open?" A phone rings and he presses a button on his chair to answer it. "Hello Scott." How did he know it was Scott?

I use one of the features on my helmet to listen in on the conversation.

"Man Professor, you know it always weirds me out when you do that."

"Sorry, what are you calling about?" He presses a button and reveals a helmet.

"One of the students here, he's kinda like us." I wonder who's he talking about?

"Yes, Todd Tolansky." He says as he puts on the nerd helmet. (Hehe. Nerd.)

"You know him?"

"Cerebro just got a reading. He must be using his powers openly now."

"Anyway, he's not the kind of guy I'd really want to share a room with. I mean to put it bluntly, he's got the personal hygiene of a dead pig." ( **Guess he hasn't met Razorpool yet.** ) Hey!

"We cannot turn our backs on anyone Scott. You know that."

"Yeah, I know. So, should I bring him in?"

"No need Scott. Speak with you later." He hangs up and Kurt enters the room.

This is the first time we see his tail and uniform. That looks like a blue devil tail.

"What's zat zing, Professor?"

"This thing is Cerebro. It detects the manifestation of special powers. That's how I found you."

Cerebro's screen shows the face of Todd. (Again. Ewwwwww!) ( **I'm enjoying this.** )

"So this guy is one of us."

"That remains to be seen."

Well I'm gonna be on the rooftop and watch cat videos on my phone. (Yay!) And maybe some frog vids too. (I hate you so much!)

* * *

At night, I was on my phone like planned and see Toad trying to sneak in. Amateur, I been here for like two days and haven't been caught yet. Wait, why are his eyes red. Is he high? I see Storm on the balcony below me and stirs up a **storm** in her X-Men uniform flying out. (Badum tss.) ( **Boo!** ) She flies by Toad, who thinks he's being sneaky, makes it rain(another innuendo), and strikes lighting near him making him, **jumpy**. (Badum tss.) ( **Please, stop.** ) She does this repeatedly making him go towards the mansion.

"I gotta go inside and join the fight."

( **Why are you doing this?** )

"To make a good first impression. And maybe Jean will be there."

( **Of course.** ) (Why do you like this Jean girl more than me!?)

"Because she has a body. A hot one at that."

I enter the mansion through the balcony and see Kurt walking down the stairs to the front. Storm's… storm blows Toad into Kurt. Did that sound right? I'm just asking. They both land on their feet and get into their fight stance circling around.

"So, what are you? Some kind of ratty plush toy?"

Kurt sniffs and notices the Toad smells awful. (Thank you!)

"Zhe name's Nightcrawler. And at least I don't reek like unwashed lederhosen."

"You blue furred freak!" He charged straight at him but Nightcrawler teleports to the chandelier hanging on it in time leaving behind sulfur smoke.

"As you say in America, neener, neener, neener!"

"That ain't gonna help you boy!"

He jumps up but Kurt dodges him. Todd starts to get even more annoyed by Kurt's antics. The chase continues in the mansion as Toad keeps going after Kurt. I follow them trying to get in the fight. ( **Just teleport.** ) I don't feel like it yet. (Grrrrr!) Okay I'll do it soon. They mess up the place during the chase. I think I missed some dialogue as I was talking to these two.

"This test is over! Todd Tolansky does have the special gift of the X-gene. He is welcomed to join us. If he so desires."

"Only thing I desire is blue boy's fuzzy head."

He jumps at Kurt and knocks him down. I teleport out of nowhere and try to get Toad off him.

"Hey, sorry I'm late for the party! A lot of prepping to do!" I said to the two mutants before Kurt teleports us somewhere.

Charles and Ororo are shocked about what just happened.

"Who was that?" Ororo asks.

"I don't know."

* * *

So back to me, Kurt teleported all three of us to some training room and we all fall on the ground. I hit my ass on the ground when I landed.

"Owwww, my ass! What is this place? Never been to this part of the mansion yet."

"Who are you?" Nightcrawler asks.

"Just your friendly neighborhood mystery ninja. You can just call me Razorpool."

"Nice to met you. I wonder where we are."

"You asking us fool. You brought us here."

"I zink I'm about to regret it." He points to some laser turrets that are about to fire on us.

One of the turrets shoots a green blast at us and we dodge it.

The shots fired at me I deflected it towards another turret destroying it with my tech swords. I use the force to redirect a scissor tentacle trap to cut down another turret and then I teleported to slice it down. I guess Nightcrawler and Toad were doing ok. They dodged a lot of traps with acrobatics and Nightcrawler did most of it with teleportation. (Explosions everywhere!)

(Razor, Razor, he's our man! If he can't do it! Someone else probably can! Yay!) Hey!

Scott and Jean enter the room in their uniforms to save us. Well, I don't need saving I'm doing pretty fine myself.

"I got the cannons. Keep them clear of the tentacles!" Scott orders.

"On it!" Jean flies out using her powers.

Cyclops shoots a turret that almost hits Nightcrawler. A tentacle is about to hit him and I'm thinking of letting it happen...

( **Razorpool, just do it or you'll make all the Nightcrawler fangirls mad.** )

Fine. I use my force powers to move the tentacle away from the blue demon. Jean uses her powers to destroy the tentacle I moved away.

"You are an angel." Kurt says to Jean.

"On occasion. How bout you? Are you a demon?"

I teleport to Jean in the air. "So Jean, how bout after this fiasco, me and you can take a night out in the town?"

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"No, but I know you. I'll give you my number after I kill Frogface."

I teleport away from Jean to Toad and didn't notice her reaction to my sentence.

"Wait, what?!"

( **Why do you wanna kill Toad? He's done nothing wrong to you.** ) (Don't listen to him! Kill the frog freak! Destroy that disgusting amphibian!)

Because, I haven't killed anything for a long time, except that store clerk two days ago. I slice the trap that would've turned Todd into frog paste. Tolansky opens his eyes and sees that I saved his life.

"Thanks pal."

I turn around facing him with a murderous aura.

"Who said we were pals? Your time is up, Todd Tolansky." How was that line readers? Was it good? I tried to go for a Death tone, but I think it felt more like a Ghost Rider vibe.

Toad shivers in fear as I point the tip of my tech sword closer and closer to his neck.

"Please, don't do this!" Todd shrieks in fear.

Jean gasps at what's about to happen.

"Just kidding! I fooled you guys! HAHAHAHA! I have no use of killing him. I'm not in the mood for blood. It feels like Monday." I draw my tech swords away from Todd's throat. "But seriously I won't hesitate to kill you next time."

Toad hops away to Scott's area and cries for a bit. Me and Scott destroy a few more cannons, the Professor and Storm go to the console room and Professor shuts down the cannons.

*Shut down in 5 seconds.*

"Ahh, now I get it, it's a training area. Vatch this." He teleports on top of a cannon. "I just pull ze plug and-" Once he pulls the plug, the cannon started firing randomly and one of the blasts destroys my left leg making me fall on my back. Storm destroys the cannon with a lighting strike.

"OWWWWWWWWWW! Dude! What the hell!? I'm on your side!"

"So sorry, I didn't mean it. I thought it would shut down."

Well it's not too bad. Thanks to my healing factor, my leg will grow back in seconds and won't be robotic anymore. Unfortunately, I was wrong. My whole left leg instantly grows back but still robotic.

"Dam it! Still robotic! Even by comic book logic that makes no sense!" I said before flipping up.

"Forget this man. I've seen enough. I'm outta here." Tolansky hops outta here.

"Tolansky!" Cyclops is still recovering from the knockback. "Sorry Professor, I couldn't stop him."

"It's alright Cyclops. He wasn't ready to be one of us."

"I blew it too, Professor. I'm sorry. You've been wonderful but I guess, I-I just don't belong here!" He teleports from the scene.

"Nightcrawler wait!"

"No sweat Professor, I'll take care of it." Scott exits the scene.

"Well I don't belong here. I was just freeloading here for like over two days."

"Who are you?" Jean asks.

"I'm Razorpool sweetcheeks. And like I said before I was here for over two days and no one has noticed me."

"So your the one who ate all our food, damaged the fridge, and threaten Todd?"

"Yes. And I was also the one who stole all of Storm's jewelry. Why am I confessing to my crimes you may ask? Because I don't care. Here's my number. Bye!" I teleported away.

"Hey wait! I still have more questions!" She looks down to where I disappeared and sees a sticky note with a cell number on it like a kindergartner wrote it.

"Hmm. Who is he really?"

* * *

Scene cuts to Toad jumping out of a window and crashing into a table set breaking it. He tries to escapes but is stopped by a hairy midget ( **Why are you calling him a midget? You're like the same size as him. Or at least an inch shorter.** ) in a Texan getup. The grump's claws unretract and reveal to be metal. Toad cowers in fear.

"Going somewhere, bub?" He sniffs the air and is disgusted.

"Man, how many dudes with sharp weapons are gonna threaten my life?"

When it looks like Logan is about to put a world of hurt on Toad, Charles stops him.

"No Logan! Let him go."

He retracts his claws and steps aside to let Toad pass.

"I came back here cause I smelled trouble brewing. Course, maybe it was just stinkboy there."

"I wish it was. Welcome home old friend. We've missed you."

Both of them smile for a while. (This Logan guy doesn't smell as bad as Frogface. But he still smells bad nonetheless.)

"But we have two new residents in the mansion. One of them is freeloader and we haven't even noticed until he wanted to be seen. It's also weird that Cerebro hasn't detected him. He seems to have potential to do something great, but he just doesn't know it. Or he does and just doesn't care."

"I'll try to find him. Got something to eat?"

"He seems to have also ate all the food and destroy the fridge."

"And I already have a problem with him."

* * *

At another scene, Nightcrawler teleports into a room where the Blackbird is occupied.

"Vas zis das?"

Cyclops enters the room and answers him. "The SR-77 Blackbird. Twice as fast as the SR-71 and with three times the range and firepower. It nice aye?"

"Zas good. Is it yours? Please tell me you get to fly it."

"It's ours. And if you stick around for a while, I'll show you how to pilot this bad boy. So what do you say? You wanna be part of our team?"

"Me? I almost got you killed a few minutes ago. And blew off a robot ninja's leg."

"It was robotic, and I saw it grow back. So yeah, don't do that again. But look, we all mess up sometimes. I know I do. That's why we're all here. To learn to not make mistakes like that. That's why we'd like you to stay."

"And you don't mind ze- ze way I look?"

"Heh, dude, just don't hassle me about my shades and we'll call it even."

"We have a deal zen."

"Welcome to the team. And watch out for that ninja guy."

"I'm be sure to do that."

"Come on, I'll show you where they hide the sodas."

In the Blackbird, I'm currently sleeping inside on the floor and potato chips are all over the floor.

(Awww! He's so cute when he's sleeping.) ( **And quiet.** )

"I'm gonna get all the X-Babes. And steal Wolverine's beer supply."

( **Nevermind.** )

* * *

At the school in the morning, Toad is in the principal's office again.

"I can't believe this! You were actually inside and you ran away!"

"Hey, I freaked. So sue me. I did what I could."

"And no doubt, the good Professor wiped your mind so you can't remember anything!"

Toad shakes his head to disagree.

She opens the door. "Get out!"

"Alright, let's see you get in a place where they have a super powered ninja guarding it."

Toad hops out of the room and the grouchy lady slams the door in anger turning into her true form Lady Gaga- I mean Mystique. The entire room starts shake like an earthquake has appeared.

"Do not be so hard on the boy Mystique. We don't want to thin our ranks now do we?" The mysterious voice says threatenly. ( **It's not me I swear.** )

Mystique trembles in fear at his presence.

"N-no sir. I'll be more careful."

"Mind you are." He controls some paper clips and her principal plaque. ". And look into this mysterious new being. He sounds like trouble from what I heard from Tolansky tone. Remember, this is only the beginning." He says out from the window with his helmet covering his face.

(I think we may be in trouble. See you next chapter readers. Bye!"

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this took so long. Working on this all day makes me tired and slows down my brain functions. Just like the Origins movie. I might be taking a teeny weeny break.**


	3. Razor Phase(meh)

So it was a day like any other day or night, I stole some food from the X-men, including Wolverine's supply of beer like I said I would steal from the last chapter, kicked a cat, and now I'm sleeping in the Blackbird again on a stormy night. And Jean still hasn't called me!

( **Maybe because you threatened to kill someone.** ) (Shhh! I'm trying to sleep! *Snores loudly*)

Anyway, it was a normal sleep until I started dreaming. The dream was normal. Well, normal compared to me. I was falling from the air in a city at night and saw this girl in her pinkish pajamas screaming for dear life. She had a petite and slender figure. Her hair was long and brown pulled into a ponytail with layers that frame her face. As she falls, her light blue eyes fills me with determination to save her.

"Hey, don't worry just grab onto me and we'll be outta here!"

"Who are you?!" She ask.

"You know! Just a stranger **dropping** in! Now grab on! Tightly!" ( **Like she wasn't going to do it tightly already without you telling her.** ) (Keep it down! I need my beauty sleep. *Snores loudly again*)

"Okay!" She grabs onto my waist tightly and closes her eyes.

"Now, just need to teleport to the nearest building!"

* * *

When I teleported the dream was over and I woke up on the floor outside of the Blackbird.

"Must've teleported in my sleep. Kinda inconvenient if you ask me. I wonder how that girl in my dream is doing."

( **Razorpool, it was a dream. That girl is not real. All apart of your imagination.** ) (Okay, I'm fully awake now since I can't get any peace and quiet. So, what happened?)

"Smart guy says that a girl in my dream isn't real."

( **Which is true.** ) (Don't tell him that. Dreams can come true.)

Just then, I hear a familiar alarm.

( **That's Cerebro. A mutant must've been detected.** )

"Let's make like a nosey ninja and check it out. Razor out!" I teleported away from the scene and to Cerebro.

Charles Xavier is currently using it and Cerebro says some data stuff with alert flashing on the screen.

"Discovery. Mutant signature. The second detection in this vicinity." It then shows to images of the girl from my dreams in two different ways. I told you she was real. ( **Dammit!** ) "Extrapolation, complete. Identity confirmed. Name, Kitty Pryde. Residence, Northbrook. Age, 15." And she's older than me. By two years. (What? Shouldn't you be fourteen?) I'll be fourteen soon. I think. I lost track of my age awhile back.

Xavier takes off his nerd helmet and presses a button.

"Prep the Blackbird."

"Alright, a road trip!" I shout out.

"Huh?" Charles turns his head and I teleport out of there before he can see me. "How does he do that?"

I appear in the Blackbird and latch on the ceiling. Jean and Professor Connery(007 joke) enter the jet. Double oh Baldy takes control of the jet while Jean sits in the other seat and I'm very bored so quickly. I think I'm gonna have to join the X-Men sooner or later… Nah! I'm just gonna continue to freeload.

* * *

The jet takes off, and a few minutes in the air, Jean starts to ask questions.

"Why just me? Why not all of us?"

"Because, you're the only one who can connect with this girl."

"I hope so. But then how are we handling the other kid Cerebro detected by now. The one in the foster home."

"Yes. Lance Alvers. Let me worry about that. I'd like you to just keep your focus on Kitty's parents. Remember, you're a model of what we're offering them. No pressure."

"And also Razorpool. He seems a little out of control. He keeps stealing our food, our stuff, and still sneaking around the mansion. I think he even used our shower."

"*Sighs*, I don't know. He's may be annoying but we can't turn our backs on him. We'll try to help him if we can."

"It's pretty hard to help someone when you can't find him. Not even Cerebro can get a trace on him."

"Jean, don't you have his phone number? Just contact him."

"I'll do it later, right now I have to help Kitty."

"Yes, to my Dream Buddy!"

"Ah/Ah!" Both psychics screamed.

I drop from the back and walk to the front. "So, we're going to my Dream Buddy's place to help her out?"

"By Dream Buddy you mean Kitty, right?" Xavier asked.

"Of course Sean Connery. Who else could I be talking about? Besides Jennifer Lawrence. REOW!"

"Why do you call her Dream Buddy? And how did you get on the jet?"

"Because, we were in the same dream together. And to answer your second question, I just teleported in here."

"Well, can you please just behave when we arrive at Kitty's place? I don't want the Pryde's to get a bad message." Charles said.

"I can't promise you anything."

"Please. Kitty needs us, and you might be able to help us even more. I would greatly appreciate it." Jean says sincerely but hesitantly.

"Hmmm, okay. Only for Dream Buddy and you Jean."

( **Still trying to get in bed with Jean.** ) (Typical Razor.)

"I guess this is my first mission with you huh Jean?" I said flirtatiously.

"So does that mean you're a part of the X-Men?"

"Pfffft! Not a chance, I'm just here for the ride. And to keep stealing your food."

Charles then turns his head to me. "Yes, speaking of stealing. Storm would like to have a few words with you about her jewelry."

"Yeah, about that-aren't we there yet?"

* * *

Good thing I was right. The map on the Blackbird has notified us that we have arrived in Deerfield, Illinois. We have landed somewhere and traveled to Dream Buddy's house.

"Razorpool, don't you have a disguise or something? I don't think that Kitty and her parents will trust us with a cybernetic ninja around us."

"Don't worry Jean darling, I've got this covered." I teleport behind a tree and change into my trench coat and hat and teleport back to the others. "Tada. Now I look normal. Sorta."

"It'll have to do. Come on you two." Charles was growing impatient.

We arrive at the Pryde's residence and find out that Dream Buddy is not home at the moment. Her mom and dad are little nervous for some reason.

"What are you talking about? How do you know Kitty?" The mom asks us.

"Please. May we come in for a moment? We'll answer all your questions and anything you ne-"

"Excuse me, Miss." I don't like the way he interrupted Jean. "You can talk to us, out here."

I growl a bit and step forward in a threatening manner but Professor X uses his arm to block me.

"That's quite alright. I'd think you know Kitty is going through a very unique transition. We simply want to help her through it."

"Like how she goes through walls." I tried to lighten the mood. You already know that it didn't work.

"Razorpool. Just no." Jean deadpans.

"Hey, it was comedy gold."

( **More like comedy bronze.** )

"Anyway, Mister and Misses Pryde, why don't you tell us about last night?"

The parents are kinda jumpy when he mentions that.

The dad is especially angry. "Last night is none of your business! Please, just leave us alone."

They went inside their house and slammed the door.

( **Well that was a colossal failure. No pun intended.** ) (I knew we should've tied them up and interrogated them. And taste their fear by drinking their blood.) ( **No. We were not going to do that. We're not vampires.** )

"Guys, stop arguing I'm trying to think of an idea to get my Dream Buddy. Is it me, or did the door's wood change?"

While I'm having a conversation with my two voices, Jean whispers to Charles.

"Professor, who's he talking to? I can't seem to get into his mind to figure it out."

"I don't know. I can't seem to get a reading on his mind either."

"I think we'll figure it out sooner or later."

"Okay, you can learn more about him if you interact with him more often. I have a plan. Um, Razorpool. You and Jean will need to interact with Kitty directly at her school."

(Alright, going to school! Why am I excited about that?) ( **I ask myself that daily.** )

* * *

At Deerfield High School, Dream Buddy is sorting out her locker while sulking a bit and two mean stereotypical girls make fun of Dream Buddy. The brown haired one was wearing the red dress. And the other one was blond wearing a peach shirt and blue jeans. I would put in more detail about these two, but I hate them and would rather have sex with a prostitute then date them. Hell, I've already had sex with a prostitute before. Anyway, like any other bullies… they decide to bully. ( **Of course they do.** )

"Check the Kitty Pitty party." The blond chick says.

"Haha, Dreading P.E no doubt. Probably the only class she's not acing." Just like your sex life. (Ohhhhhhhhhh, get burned!)

"Let's uh, give her some time off."

They slowly sneak behind Dream Buddy and push her in her locker.

"Ahhhh!" She screams.

They then lock the locker. (What else would they do with the locker?)

The blond girl gets snarky. "World closing in on you Kitty?"

Those two girls laugh and run away from the scene. Dream Buddy(by now you know that Kitty is gonna be known as Dream Buddy by me) tries knocking her way out calling for help.

"Hey, let me out you jerks." She's still banging on the lockers. "Open this door! Somebody open this door!"

Just then, a tall, long brown hair kid wearing a brown leather jacket over a black shirt with torn jeans that have tears around his knees, brown boots and black, fingerless gloves appears from the boys bathroom with a can of spray paint in his hands.

( **I think he may cause some trouble for us. We better be careful.** ) (HAHAHAHA! Us, careful? That'll be the day!)

Ignoring the voices to continue narration. The troublemaker sprays across the lockers making a red streak as he goes across. Dream Buddy hears the spraying and calls for help again.

"Hey! Who's out there? Can you hear me?" She begins to knock the locker again. "Let me out!"

She accidently phases out and knocks Lance out the way falling across the ground. Dream Buddy is mortified about what just happened. Lance gets up and a red streak is across his face.

"Hey, you see what you just did?"

Dream Buddy gets up and tries to shake off her nervousness.

"Hey. You see what you just did?"

"What? I-I like just fell out." (Yeah, you go girl! That'll fool him!) ( **No it won't.** )

"Yeah man! Right through the door! That is so cool!"

"Ugh, you're crazy!" Dream Buddy tries to run but Lance Jerkoff grabs her.

"No. No. Wait a minute. I'm the one guy around here who gets the beauty of it. Cause you're just like me. Really!"

Dream Buddy's face shows a huge hint of skepticism.

"Alright then, check this!"

He holds his hands out and has a constipated face like he's taking dumps on a toilet the wrong way. The whole hallway starts shaking causing the lockers to open up rattling with many books falling out. When he's done, Lance is a bit exhausted.

"Getting the picture?"

"No! You're just like some freak! Leave me alone!" She snatches her arm away and runs to P.E.

"You can run but you can't hide. Cuz I'm gonna rock your world." (Bet he said that to a lot of girls before they ran away from him.)

When he leaves the halls, I teleport to the scene.

"I don't see her in the school, even in the lockers that are open for some reason. She may be in P.E like it said in the narration." I said to Jean on my communicator that I got from somewhere.

"*Narration? What are you talking abou- Nevermind, just meet me outside.*"

"Alright Jean darling!"

"*Sighs*"

I teleported from the scene. CHANGE SCENE!

( **Are you a director?** ) (Hey! I'm getting ready for my close-up!) ( **You don't have a face!** )

* * *

So the scene changes to outside, where P.E is in session, I teleport outside and met up with Jean. The class looked like P.E for girls since all the students were females exercising.

"Wow, look at all those hot babes."

"Razorpool, stay focused. Kitty has to be around here."

"Aw Jean, are you getting jealous? You know you're my main girl."

"I'm getting major headaches." She puts her hand on her head.

I see Dream Buddy wearing a short sleeve sorta greenish shirt and gym pants that are beige and yeezys running towards her coach and the two girls make fun of her. I'm not going type what the two girls say right now, just to save space for this story.

The coach blows the whistle like she's doing a blowjob and Dream Buddy is out of breath.

"Pryde, you're late."

"Sorry coach, I was like um- having trouble with my locker." She said while looking back at the two bullies.

"Alright you three, to the lawn jump. Pryde, you're tardy so you're first."

Dream Buddy is a little sad about this. She starts to run but slips on the sand before she could even jump. This makes her upset and she smacks the sand.

(That's sand abuse!)

"Reow, Kitty Cat's got a temper!" Said the blond chick.

"Take notes, Pryde, this is how athletes do it."

Okay, now they're really getting on my nerves. When the brown haired chick starts running, a sand geyser pops up when she jumps and buries her.

(Like, OMG! Sandman is here! Razorpool, you said this was a different universe.) ( **It is. There must be a mutant around here somewhere.** )

Dream Buddy looks around and sees Lance waving and two other dudes on a nearby roof and runs off knocking into Jean and continues to run. Jean looks at Dream Buddy run off, I teleport right next to her.

"Should I have done something? I think I should've done something"

"No, you did fine Razorpool, considering the fact you look very suspicious in a trench coat and hat and that you didn't cause any trouble."

( **It's a miracle.** )

"Thanks sweetcheeks. So anyway, I found out that this Lance kid is trying to manipulate Dream Buddy into stealing answers for a… test I think. I don't know, I was too busy drinking beer."

"This is bad. If Lance succeeds in befriending her, then we may never be able to reach her."

"I already texted the Professor all the details. Let me check." I checked my phone and… Uh oh. "Hehe. I may have sent the details to a stripper by accident. My bad. I'll go memory wipe her with my force powers later."

( **Since when can you wipe memories?** ) I can't. That just means I'm gonna kill her after all this. (Good! All my rivals must die!) What? (Nothing, again.)

"You better." Jean threatened.

"Oh I will, I'll wipe her memory really good." I said cheerfully.

"Okay, come on, we gotta get to Kitty."

"To Dream Buddy!"

* * *

In some sort of theater room, Dream Buddy kicks a chair in frustration and sits on a table causing it to launch a fruit bowl in the air. Dream Buddy tries to catch it but her hands phases right through it. She then focuses her powers and phases her hand through the bowl.

"Kitty."

This startles her.

"Kitty, are you alright?"

Dream Buddy backs up(duh).

"That ra ra(I don't know, she just said that in the episode) Riley a friend of your's? Cause you know, like I had nothing to do with what happened out there in the sand pit."

"We know that. And we're not Riley's friend."

"Why the hell would we be? I'd rather be friends with a brick wall. And I'm already friends with a brick wall. His name's Gerald, you two would get along great."

"Okay. Only one of you would look like you'd be a friend of hers. Who are you?"

"Just a stranger dropping in."

"Look, Kitty, there's no need to be afraid anymore. We know what's going on."

"You two, like, don't know anything! Neither does that creepy guy out there!"

"Who Captain Bignose Earth Shaker?"

"Yes, forget about Lance. This is about you. You, and your wonderful new gift."

"*Gawks* I don't have any gifts." She leans back. "Just a curse."

"Only if you let it be. We'd like to help you understand it. Look, together we can-"

"Look!" Dream Buddy interrupted. "I don't want any of this! It's like hard enough just being normal you know."

"Pfffft, normal is overrated. By my standards anyway. Look at what I can do." I teleport all around the place very quickly in seconds in different poses and back to my original location. "I can do more than that too." I lift up the table using the force and smash it down startling Dream Buddy a bit. "Tada! Hey Jean, show her your super duper powers."

"Alright." Jean lifts the mask in Dream Buddy's hand I forgot to mention into the air and puts it back on the wall.

Dream Buddy is really mortified by our 'gifts' as Professor 007 would put it.

"Whoa. How'd you guys do that?"

"The same way you can pass through walls."

"Like a boss!"

"Let me finish, Razorpool."

"Well e **X** cuse me."

Jean just sighs at my pun and continues talking. "Just like you, one morning I woke up and I had this power. And trust me, I hated it too."

Dream Buddy and Jean then look at me for some reason.

( **I think they want you to tell them about your powers.** ) (Or, they want that robot dick.) ( ***Sighs*** )

"Oh… well, I got this teleportation belt that lets me teleport. My other powers, I was kidnapped, experimented on, and tortured. It was a very painful but kinda quick process since this is a fanfiction, or cartoon series. However you guys want to see it."

Jean and Dream Buddy are weirded out by my story. Standing there kinda skeptical about my sanity.

"Is he okay?"

"I've only known him for a short time, and the main thing I know about him is that he's really weird and/or has mental disability."

"Well, I don't believe you about any of this! This is all a trick!"

"What?!" I shouted in disbelief.

( **Are you kidding me?!** ) (That's just stupid! Coming from me. That's saying something.) ( **Agree.** )

"No, you do believe us. I know because of my other ability. I can read your thoughts."

( **We're not surprised. We've read the comics, and saw the movie. Which I hope we'll be in. .** ) You know he'll do it. (Yay!) But let's get back to Dream Buddy's reaction.

"No! Stay out my head! No!" She runs out of the room. "AHHH!" And screams. Can't forget to scream.

"Kitty, wait!"

But it was too late.

"Well Jean, I may be a heartless killer and like to sneak into places at times but even I would know that people don't like it when their private thoughts are not so private."

"Yeah, should've known better."

"Also, here comes the bully who dresses like he's homeless in 3,2,1."

Said Big Bird bully grabs my shoulder and turns me around. I called it and I wasn't even looking.

"Piece of advice, Captain Trenchcoat and Red(ominous music sounds, dictating that this dude is definitely a huge dick), I'm the only friend that girl's gonna need. And I'll be teaching her what's what. So you just back yourselves off."

"What is what?" I ask him. "You are being unclear. Perhaps you should talk into my fist."

"Watch it incognerdo!"

(Nerd?! Kick his ass Razor!)

I get into my fighting position and so does Lance Douchestrong.

( **It looks like you're about to dance.** ) It is my fighting stance!

But Jean does not want things to get funky.

"Razorpool don't, he's not worth it!"

"Crap. We'll settle this some other time you homeless asshole!"

"I guess we will settle it, and don't hide under that dollar store hat." He runs off before I said my comeback.

You guys probably know that I'm pissed off right now.

"You know that he's not important. What matters now is helping out Kitty."

( **She's right you know.** ) (Don't listen to them. Find that jerk now, and make him into a hobo kabob.)

"No, the smart squad is right. Dream Buddy is the number one priority!" Even though I really want to kick that dude's ass right now!

* * *

We go outside and sit on a bench. Jean contacts the Professor on our progress.

"So this is really bad. This homeless jerkface is manipulating my Dream Buddy! And I don't like it! Oh, sorry I forgot to send you the details after I accidently sent the details to a stripper."

"*That's quite alright. Just make sure you get her before he does. And remember, whatever obstacles may come your way, they can be overcome.*"

"Thanks Professor." Jean said.

"*No problem. Xavier out.*" He told us before hanging up.

We sat there for a moment before I finally said something.

"You know this kinda like our first date? Hanging out. Sitting on a bench together. Stopping me from killing a homeless dude for the time being."

'Oh brother, I got my hands full.' Jean thinks to herself. "I guess you can call it a date."

"Yes!" Razorpool you are a smooth criminal. ( **With issues.** )

"But can we hold it for another time?"

"Sure. I'm gonna remind you someday. Hope you know that"

"Razorpool, I'm just gonna go back to the mansion and change into my uniform you keep an eye on Kitty and don't do anything… you."

"They don't call me special agent Razorpool for nothing." I stand in a heroic pose.

"No one calls you that."

"They will." I get out of my heroic pose. "Soon."

(It'll be okay Razy. I'll call you special agent Razor.) Please don't.

* * *

Moments later, I'm out of my disguise, Jean(in her sexy X-Men uniform) and Professor Rated X appears to the scene along with Dream Buddy's parents. The dad runs quickly out of his car along with the momma. They weren't concerned about my appearance since their daughter was being corrupted by a bad boy. Who might be an angel compared to me.

( **Depends on one's opinion.** ) (Like mine's?) ( **No.** )

"Where is she?" Chill dude, I'm worried that other comic book company might sue us for you saying that phrase. And daddy needs his paycheck.

"She's in the office."

"I think I should have done something at that moment." I stated, remembering that I was keeping an eye on Dream Buddy.

"She's never done anything like this before." The momma states.

I cross my arms. "There's a first time for everything, mam. Including sex."

"Razorpool, that doesn't help us."

"I know."

"Go with them you two, I'll catch up."

"Alright Baldy, just remember I'm only here for Dream Buddy, and Jean. So you're not my boss." I clarified before teleporting to the office with the group following behind.

We appear at the office door, I take out my swords and cut the door down in an X form. Jean and the parents are behind me. We see Lance grabbing on Dream Buddy(in her normal clothes). (Is this going where I think it's going?) ( **I'm not even going to answer you.** )

"Hands off my daughter!" The dad demanded.

"Yeah, lay off my Dream Buddy!" I shout at him.

The dad charges at Lance.

"Far enough old man and… weird robot dude." Does everyone have to assume I'm a robot? Lance starts to generate a tremor that causes a bookshelf to fall down on the dad.

"Hey me! Maybe you should start making me do stuff!" Did that sound right?

"No stop!" Dream Buddy pleads.

"They're just gonna confuse you Kitty! We're outta here." He starts up another tremor making an escape hole in the wall.

I get the bookshelf off the dad using my force powers.

"Kitty please." Her mother starts to get even more worried. "We can work through this together."

"Let go of me!" Dream Buddy yells at the earth shaker.

"We're in control now! We make our own way!" Why don't you just add in an evil laugh while your at it?

Anywho, I help up Dream Buddy's dad by letting him lean on my shoulder. He tries to reach out to Dream Buddy.

"Kitty, I pushed you to do this I know. I wanted to pretend nothing was wrong. I'm not perfect. I'm learning just like you are." I let the mommy hold up the dad.

Dream Buddy sheds tears in her eyes. "Daddy?" She sniffs.

"Forget them! Come on! I'm bringing this place down!"

The whole place is collapsing fast like he said with the ceiling crumbling above us. Jean quickly saves the day by helping me repel the falling debris.

"You called your gift a curse. If you go with him, I guarantee you that it will be."

"Also Dream Buddy, when I looked into your eyes last night it filled me with determination like it said in the text. Determination that I've never felt in my entire life. It made me into a slightly, albeit, sorta, kinda, in a way, a different person. Kinda like Undertale. You can say I'm on a neutral path since I've killed people and made friends. Jean can you handle this while I talk to Dream Buddy?"

"Sure."

"Thank you. Now, you must use the same determination you gave me to make the right choice in your life. And don't expect me to get sappy again readers, because I promise you it won't happen anytime soon."

"Don't listen to that tin can! He must have like a malfunction or something. You're with me now!"

Dream Buddy phases her arm out of his grip.

"No, I'm not!" She then balls up her fist tightly. "And don't you ever talk about my Dream Buddy like that!" She punches Lance across the crumbling room to his escape route. "Ever!" Damn. Dream Buddy has a nice punch.

Lance recovers from that attack and gets pissed off(That's what you get dumbass.) causing the earthquake to increase in high levels making this theatre building place fall down even faster. The debris from above fall on top of Dream Buddy and blocks the escape route. Unfortunately, Lance already ran away.

"AHHHHH!" She screams.

"Kitty no!"

"My little girl."

While the dad comforts the mom, Jean looks around for me.

"Where's Razorpool?"

Under the rubble, Dream Buddy has her eyes closed tightly ducking down. She opens her eyes and sees me putting my hands above me in the air to create a force field around us but the debris covers every inch of the barrier. Dream Buddy smiles with joy once she sees my face, helmet, I don't care.

"I'm so happy to see you Dream Buddy!" She hugs me while I was still holding my hands up. "I never thought you'd be real." (Great, another rival.) Okay, what are you talking about? (Oh nothing.) Stop doing that!

"Part of me thought the same thing about you." ( **Real clever.** ) "We can catch up later. I think you know what to do now. I can stand here forever. But I don't want to."

"Okay. You can let go now."

I put my hands down and let the debris fall through us. We phase out of the rubble and Dream Buddy is still hugging me. Her parent are happy to see her alive.

"Wow, phasing is awesome! Let's do that again!"

"You're about to get your wish. Like everybody grab onto me. I'll get us out."

They all grab onto Dream Buddy and we escape from the destroyed building. We see Professor Wax Head waiting in front of the demolished property. Damn, that dude did a number on this building. I'm not paying for this.

"Yes, Kitty, it is a gift. And you've used it well."

"Now go hug your momma." I tell her.

Dream Buddy goes and hugs her momma now. "Mom. I'm so sorry." She then turns to her dadda. "And Daddy, these people, they like wanna help me. I trust them."

"I know sweetie. And so do I." He then turns to the Professor. "Professor, I think we have some things to talk about."

"Good, good. Well bye guys." I teleported from the scene.

"Am I ever gonna see him again?" Dream Buddy asks.

"We don't know. He likes to pop outta nowhere and steal our stuff." Jean says. "You might see him soon enough."

"I hope so. He's really funny." She giggles. (Ugh!)

"If you say so Kitty." Jean winks after saying that causing Dream Buddy to blush and everyone else to laugh.

* * *

Meanwhile, I'm lying on top of the X-Mansion playing video games in a tent.

( **Hit the turbo. Hit the turbo!** ) (I think special agent Razorpool knows how to play racing games.) ( **Clearly incorrect, since he's in tenth place right now.** )

"I know what to do. Watch this."

I purposely crash into a huge rock that causes me to fly into the above all the other cars and cross the finish line. I put my controller down.

"Another win, for me."

( **Hey, are you gonna see Kitty again?** ) (I hope not.)

"You know it."

( **Then just join the X-Men already.** )

"Hmmm, I'll think about it... After I drink another case of Wolverine's beer."

( ***Sighs*** )

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading this chapter. Remember share this story with friends, family, and possibly strangers. Make sure to also leave a review so I can get better and so you can like this story better. See you guys next chapter. :) Oh, funny fact. I never knew that Jennifer Lawrence was in an X-Men movie until I did a little research on Mystique for this chapter. I was laughing my ass off at the irony.**


	4. When Razorpool met Rogue(or R&R)

So now this crazy freak filled adventure continues in Mississippi, USA, where I'm at an all-ages dance night in my disguise and a hit with the ladies. ( **Which is still surprising, since you look shady as fuck.** ) (Maybe there are drugs at this party. Cause that may be the reason those ladies are dancing with you.) Nah. It's a combination of my cool hat and dance moves.

One of the girls that has black hair starts to speak to me as I'm dancing with her along with other chicks. "For a guy wearing a trench coat, you have some fine moves."

"Yeah, it's one of the many things I'm good at. Along with chess, hacking, sports, video games, sex, fighting, typing, talking, texting, sex, drawing, starting fires, stealing, breaking shit, flying, sex, taking pictures, thinking, and making wonderful friends. Did I mention sex?"

All the girls giggle all at once. "You're like, so funny."

"I get that a lot. Along with being called weird and many other words."

(Like dense.)

As we kept dancing, I did a spin move and saw this guy push this dude into a pale skin chick. The guy that was push tries to help the girl up, but when he touches her skin, he looks like he's being drained of his life energy… Nah! He's probably tired. ( **But why would he be tired when he touched the girl? It seems idiotic.** ) Maybe he's weak. ( **He's a jock.** ) Oh.

Wait a minute? That dude got knocked out when he touched her skin. So that means, that chick's a witch! ( **No! She must be a mutant.** ) (Or not. We can just leave her and keep on partying.) But she's a hot chick, so we have to help her.

But not alone. See what I did there? I'm being dramatic.

Back to the girl who looks like she hasn't seen the sun in days, she begins to see images and gets a total headache.

"My head. I can see images." She gets up looking a little confused and scared. "What's happening to me? What am I? Who am I?" She mutters in her southern accent.

Everyone circles around the fallen football jock and the vampire chick is standing there dumbfounded. The jock black-haired friend goes over to him and tries to wake him up.

"Cody? Cody what's wrong?!" He turns his dumb head towards the literal white chick. Uh oh. "What did you do to him?!"

"Maybe he was drugged. Just guessing." I shouted without using an exclamation point.

The girl makes a run for it towards the door but the dude tries to block her way. Somehow, the chick knew the right move to tackle him out of the way.

On the ground, the jock is surprised she did a football move. (Foul play!)

"Whoa, I thought only Cody had moves like that."

* * *

I teleported from the party and to the fleeing girl. Why did I do it in front of them? It's because I really don't care for hiding my heritage and whatnot.

I put my robotic hands on her shoulder to stop her.

"Can you wait a gosh darn minute?" I asked in a perfect Colonel Sanders voice impression. "Now, I know a certain institute of superpowered X-Freaks that can help you out. But there's no fried chicken involved."

She turns around and freaks out when she sees my robot hands.

"What are you?! Stay away from me!" She tries to tackle me down but instead falls to the ground.

"What? Did you guys think I could be taken down by a football jock? Pffft! Nerds."

The white girl gets up quickly and runs away as fast as a football- you get the point.

( **Just call the damn X-Men.** )

"Fine!" I take out my phone dial up Jean's number and she answers it. "Yeah, hi Jean baby. I need help from you and the X-Nerds. And no this is not a prank. This time."

"*What's the deal?*" She asked me in an annoyed tone. Bet she's playing hard to get.

"Well, I'm at Mississippi, USA and I found this pale white chick, right, at this party and I, of course, was a hit with the ladies. This dude tried to help her from the floor since the writers of this show wanted to introduce her abilities because she looks nothing like her comic book counterpart, except by her hair, but she's still hot in a gothic way, even though she looks like a Twilight vampire that took too many drugs. So when the dude touched her, his energy got drained and she got super jock powers running away. I tried to stop her but she was too startled by my good looks and ran off."

"*Okay. I only believe a few parts of the situation. Others were batshit crazy. But I do sense honesty in all of that. So we'll be on our way immediately.*" Jean hangs up faster than Quicksilver. Oops. He wasn't introduced yet. My bad.

(So, what now?) We wait. ( **But she hasn't told us where to meet up with them.** )

"Shit. Cut to an X-transition." I ordered as I take of my disguise.

* * *

At a hospital at night, Wolverine, Cyclops, Dream Buddy(sexy uniform), Nightcrawler, and the Professor are in the X-Van, I guess, I thought it was black before. Wolverine is unsure if they should do this.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Yes Logan. The boy, Cody, is the key to finding our rogue(Rogue?). But he's unconscious, and his mind is elusive. To isolate his memory patterns, I need someone on the inside."

"I can do it!" I shouted joyfully making all the X-Men in the vehicle jumpy.

"How did you get in here?!" Cyclops asked politely in a very nice tone. ( **Liar.** ) Shut up.

"I teleported. Duh."

"How did you find us?" Nightcrawler asked.

"I don't know. It couldn't be from alcohol because I can't get drunk."

"Yeah kid, me and you need to have a talk later about stealing my beer!" The Canadian yelled.

"Hey dude, I was thirsty."

"You're a cyborg!"

"Anyway, hi Kitty." I waved.

"Hi Dream Buddy. What a coincidence to see you here." I think she giggled after that part and Kurt looked a little jealous.

(Why does she sound like a Barbie doll? Or Barbie in period?) ( **Why do you care? And don't say nothing.** ) (Because, I think she's a goodie two shoes!) ( **Really? Or is there something else you want to tell Razorpool?** ) (Just shut up. I want a beer when we get back to Bayville.)

"I know, it's like the people running this show wanted me to get close to you." Kitty just laughs at my comment and I continue talking. "So Bald-Man, what are you up to now this time of night with your X-Dorks?"

"Trying to find this girl you told us about. I was about to connect to Cody's mind with Jean's help to get an idea of where she might be, but you interrupted me."

He begins to focus and gasps.

"Gasp? What does that mean?"

"She's at Cody's house."

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, she probably thinks she's the jock. My bad."

All the X-Men sigh.

* * *

Now I'm in an alleyway with Kitty, Kurt, and Logan searching for the girl. I can't help but laugh at Wolverine sniffing like a Bloodhound on meth.

"Stop laughing! I don't know why the Prof. wanted you to search with us. You're not even an X-Man."

"Chill Wolvie. Mr. Clean knows I have awesome skills to help this team of misfits." Logan then opens up a dumpster and looks inside it. "OMG! Why didn't we think of looking for a human being in trash. You are the best tracker of our time. Give Wolverine a round of applause readers, he clearly deserves it."

Logan begins to growl in anger. "Will you just shut up!? You just as annoying as this guy I knew. I think his name was Wade Wilson."

"Oh, you're gonna be in for a shocker in the future."

Kitty and Kurt laugh at Wolverine's anger.

"Razorpool, are you doing anything later?" Kitty asked me.

"Well I'm gonna steal more of Logan's beer and use your team's T.V to watch Fox movies. What are you doing later?"

"Well I was just going to sit down and do nothing, but I was wondering if we could hang out."

Kurt looks upset when I get Kitty's attention but quickly dispenses it when Wolverine looks like he caught a scent. For the 100th time!

"Vas? Got a scent?"

"Yeah. I smell fear."

"Or maybe someone hasn't taken a shower. A.K.A you." I told him.

"Pool. Shut your metal trap!"

"I'm sorry Logan, but that function is not in my programing. Please call for for customer support or your mom. Either one would be great."

(Burn!)

"I hope you never join the X-Men. Ever. Now follow me and keep quiet!"

"I can only follow."

Wolverine just sighs and we follow him to Rogue. Running down the hood, we see the girl and some blind woman talking just before the target saw Wolverine and bolted the scene. I keep forgetting she's got the speed of a meathead. So she's pretty fast.

( **I think that blind woman may know something.** ) (Interrogate her!) ( **I agree. Do it.** ) Guys, she's a blind woman. I might get in trouble. Meh. Let's do it.

"That's gotta be her!"

The girl jump over the fence and tells Logan to leave her alone. I'd make a joke about that, but I got a blind lady to interrogate.

I hold the lady against the fence using my force powers.

"Now listen very carefully, because I know that's what blind people are good at."

She tries to struggle out of my force grip. "What do you want?"

"I think you already know what I want. Since you can see the future."

"How did you know about my power?"

"I searched up the wikia. You know what I'm about to ask you, don't you?"

"No. I've never seen you in my visions. You must be an anomaly in the timeline."

The force grip tightens causing her more pain. "Listen lady, I don't care about your timey wimey stuff. Just tell me about the girl, who you're working for, and his/her plan!"

"I work for no one!"

The force gets even more tighter.

"Wrong answer. Oh, I forgot to tell you. I'm a living lie detector. So answer carefully, or the newspaper will have an all new article about a blind lady who died by a mysterious **force**. Get it? Because my powers are similar to the Force in Star Wars."

"Okay, I'll talk. The person I'm working for, she gave me the job of protecting Anna Marie. I failed since I allowed her to go to a party and she's gotten into physical skin-to-skin contact with someone that caused her powers to awaken. Marie has the ability to mimic someone's ability after she touched them with her bare skin. But the side effects were disastrous. When she touches someone she not only takes their abilities but also a huge chunk of their life force. And she gets major headaches without practicing her gift."

"No wonder she looks like she's been living underground with no sunlight. Now tell me about the boss, and the plan." I said as if I was a kindergarten teacher telling a kid to hand something over.

"The person I'm working for is very demanding. Her name is Mystique. She's the foster mother of Marie and a shapeshifter. Her plan is to scare Marie into joining her ranks by turning into members of the X-Men attacking her. Once she's in their ranks, they'll have a big advantage over the X-Men. Please keep this a secret from the X-Men, the big boss might not be happy with me telling you this information."

I think about this for a second. ( **Keep it a secret Razorpool. Do you really want to feel responsible for the death of a blind woman?** ) (Come on, tell them! I wanna see blind lady blood!) I'm not gonna tell on her. It doesn't benefit me in any way.

I let her go, dropping her to the ground, and facing down to her. She quickly catches her breath heavily.

"You're lucky I'm not part of the X-Men." I tell her before walking away.

"Wait!" I stopped once I heard her. "Please don't kill her! She means alot to me!" Her eyes look like they're about to shed tears.

"Hmmm, she's hot, so alright. Thank you for your cooperation, Irene Adler."

I continue to walk out while also using my powers to snatch the glove out of her hand.

( **Are you really a living lie detector?** ) Kinda, I can read faces and sense heartbeats. Right now, I have to regroup with the X-Jocks. ( **Go easy on the X-Men. They can't be as awesome as us.** ) (He's right. We are awesome.) I'm just gonna teleport now.

* * *

On a sidewalk, Storm, Cyclops, Jean, and Xavier are grouped up and still trying to find Marie. Professor is having difficulties tracking her.

"Odd, the trail seems to have gone suddenly cold. I can no longer read Cody's brainwave patterns."

"But if he's gone then-" Jean's sentence get's finished by the Professor.

"Then it simply means the effects of transference is temporary. Our problem now is how to find the girl."

Wolverine then hops over a gate.

"Try about ten gardens due west. Kurt's trying to keep her from bolting."

"Then we must-" Then Charles suddenly gets a headache. "Kitty! Kitty? Not so loud."

I tap on Storm's shoulders and in response she turns around.

"Who's he talking too?"

"Ah! Where did you come from?!"

"My momma's belly. Why are you so upset?"

"I'm still mad about the fact you stole my jewelry!"

"I'm sorry Ororo, but I can't return your riches since I already pawned it and spent all the money on hookers and beer. My bad." I tried to look like an angel.

Storm just takes deep breaths heavily and tries not to strangle me.

"That's alright. I can always buy new jewelry."

"Oh thank god! I was gonna buy you new jewelry but now I won't since you said you're gonna do it."

The weather goddess grits her teeth, with her hatred of me growing so fast.

( **Try to say something nice about her uniform to ease her hatred.** ) Alright, I'll try smart guy.

"You're X-Men uniform is lovely Storm." I'm smiling right now but no one can see it since I'm wearing a helmet.

Storm just ignores me, signifying that she knew my compliment was total bullshit.

"Wolverine, it's Nightcrawler. The rogue has his mind and his ability." Charley alerts him.

Wolverine growls like a dog in response and his claws come out. "This my fault. I shouldn't have left the little squirt in charge." He climbs over the fence.

"I'm getting a clear reading on Kurt's brainwave patterns. She's more focused each time she uses her powers." The Prof explained as he rolls across us. "You four go ahead. I'll guide you."

The three X-men look dumbfounded. What did they find that was dumb?

"Um, excuse me Professor, four of us?" Cyclops questioned his teacher.

"Why yes. You, Jean, Storm, and Razorpool."

"Professor, I don't mean to be rude but, Razorpool is not an X-Man. I think he should stay out of this." Storm stated. That's just mean.

"That may be true, but he's an alley. We must trust him." _Even though I don't want to._

"Yeah! Listen to Bald Man!"

"Just go." He ordered in an annoyed tone.

* * *

The four of us go ahead with Scott in front, Jean behind him, and Storm flying in front of me. We find the rouge at a graveyard place and Jean decides to comfort her when we split up.

"Hi."

The rogue-oh fuck it, I'm just gonna say Rogue for less confusion. (Amen.) Rogue turns her head and looks at Jean.

"Do-do I know you? These memories. I'm so confused."

"Yeah, I know. I can relate to what you are going through."

"Jean. You're Jean Grey." She stands up and starts to panic. "You're like the others!"

"Relax. You know who I am then you know I won't hurt you. Look, it's tough to go in solo. Hey, zero pressure. But if you want to talk more, you can reach me anytime with this communicator."

She hands Rogue the communicator that looks like pepper spray using her telekinesis.

"Latest fashion accessory, huh?"

"We all have one." Storm tells her.

This turned for worse. When Rogue saw Storm, she got really scared.

"You. You! No, you won't!" She blasted out of here.

"No! Wait!" Cyclops trips in the mud as he tried to chase her.

"I promise once you get to know Storm she won't seem so scary! Just try not steal from her!" I shouted. "Storm. Why do you have to be a scary lady?"

Storm just grunts at my comment.

Cyclops gets up from the mud. "Well, she looked pretty beat. She can't have gone far."

"I'll go ahead! Razor out!" I teleported.

* * *

At a crypt place, Rogue is hiding in in the fetal position alone and scared. Cyclops jumps down from a hole above.

"Thought you could escape us did you? The X-Men don't leave loose ends." He starts to knock down some old stuff until he reaches the Twilight vampire, who high tails it outta there and bumps into Cyclops outside… Wait, what the hell?

( **Something fishy is going on.** ) (And it's not a mutant with fish powers.)

Rogue pushes down Cyclops and causes him to fire an optic laser blast knocking down a powerline. She gets even more frightened and runs back in. I teleport inside and see Jean. Hold on! I thought Jean was behind me!

(Stab her!) Good idea!

The power vampire sees Jean and stops.

"I tried. I really did. But some peo-" I tackled 'Jean' to the ground, pinning her down.

"What are you doing!? This isn't how you make frien-" I stopped when my helmet scanned Jean and revealed her to be a blue skinned woman. "Who are you!?"

"That's none of your business, robot!" She punches me in the face but ends up hurting her hand. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"You call me a robot, yet you still punch me thinking that it will hurt me in any way."

(Dumbass.)

I didn't notice that Rogue teleported from the scene leaving behind sulfur smoke.

"You're going to pay for this!" The blue woman yells.

"Understand. But first, stabby time!" I take out my two tech swords and stabbed the woman multiple times in the legs and stomach.

She lays down on the ground injured from the assault and shows her true form. She looks similar to those cat things from the movie Avatar.

"I'm telling you! I'll will have my revenge!"

"Okay! Keep telling yourself that, Smurfette." I waved at her and teleported out of there.

* * *

Outside, A STORM IS RAGING! EVERYONE RUN FOR COVER!

( **Dude. We have a healing factor. We'll be fine.** ) (But it will still hurt!) ( **At least we'll be alive!** )

Guys, shut it!

I see that Rogue must've gained Storm's powers at some point and is having like a major overload. I never panicked one bit. ( **Yes you did.** ) Shut up.

Jean is holding Scott(carrying an unconscious Storm) up with her powers.

"Welp, time for me to save the day. Again."

I teleport in the air to where Rogue was floating high.

"Marie! Listen! To! Me! I! Know! How! It! Feels! To! Be! Hold! On! For! A! Mo! Ment!" I teleported in the same area to say each of those words because I couldn't stay in the air for the long. So I thought of using my force powers to steady myself in the air. "Okay! That was getting annoying! Look, someone is bamboozling you! And it's not the X-Men! I know how it feels to be confused about a new situation and I ask myself 'Who can I trust?'! But you know what I did? I said screw all that bullshit and go nuts and kill everyone! Or you can go with that 'Follow your heart' nonsense!"

Rogue starts to calm down(wow, that really worked) and teleports out of here. I plummet to the ground since I never used my force powers to be in the air before, thus making a crater.

"Owww! My ass! Again! It dosen't hurt like last time though."

( **You could've just teleported.** ) (Thanks for the newsflash. Not.)

Jean lowers Scott down, who's still carrying Storm in his arms. That humongous weather disaster is now over and I'm all wet. Ladies. The whole graveyard is flooded and just a big mess.

There goes our party time. Let's just go back to Bayville. ( **I second that.** ) (I third that.)

I go over to the X-Men who are all grouped up with Wolvie carrying an unconscious Nightcrawler.

"Is Storm alright?" I ask them.

"Yes, she'll be okay." Jean tells me. "I didn't think you cared about her."

"Oh, thank goodness. That means I can keep bragging about stealing her jewelry to her then."

"What do you think happened to the rogue, Professor?"

"She's gone. Somewhere. Her mind is a jumble. I can't trace it. But I strongly suspect the hand of another at work here."

Wolverine sniffs the air. Is the atmosphere like crack to this old geezer?

"Mystique. She can change her body, but not her scent. But I also smell blood."

"Change body? Blood? Oh, is she a blue lady?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"I stabbed her multiple times in the legs and stomach for no reason. Except maybe because she was attacking the 'rogue'."

"Then we have to go after her!" Dream Buddy says.

"There's been enough damage done today. And the girl must come of her own free will. And we must first tend to our own."

Stormy and Nightcrawler start to wake up. Kurt looks around and sees all the damage caused by Rogue.

"Looks like I missed quite a party."

Dream Buddy seems to be happy that Kurt is a-okay.

"Kurt, you're alright!"

Kurt almost passes out but Dream Buddy catches him just in time.

"Easy there Fuzzy Elf. Everything is going to be just fine."

Scott mouths 'Fuzzy Elf' and Dream Buddy gets even closer to Kurt.

"Let me guess. Marie touched Kurt in some type of way and it was all Dream Buddy's fault."

Dream Buddy looks at me with a surprised look on her face. "Yes, how did you know?"

"Just a hunch." I smiled but no one can see it.

Wolverine is about to ask me a question that I don't want to answer. "Wait a minute. How did you know the girl's name is Marie?" Told ya.

Shit. I can't tell them or a blind woman is going to die. ( **This seems familiar.** ) (What? A psychopath that has an advanced healing factor and a blind woman meeting up together. Nah. Nothing familiar about that.)

"Facebook."

"What's Facebook?" Dream Buddy asks.

( **Razorpool this show aired in 2000. Facebook wasn't around that time.** )

"Oh yeah. That's right." I look at the X-Men who are waiting for a proper answer. "I met her at the party and we talked for a while."

"Alright. Well see you next time Razorpool. You've been a great help today. Surprisingly." Jean said.

"No prob dawg."

The X-Men started going back to their Blackbird. (How are we getting back to Bayville?) ( **By hitching a ride on the Blackbird.** ) (Cowboy style?) ( **Cowboy style.** ) Oh yeah.

* * *

Back at Bayville High in the morning. Rogue is in the principal's office. We know where this is going.

The principal(who we know is really Mystique and has bandage wraps around her legs and stomach) welcomes Rogue to Bayville High.

"Welcome to Bayville High. I'm sure you'll be very happy here. Happy and safe."

Rogue is sitting on the chair a little depressed about yesterday. "Sure. Thank you." She gets up and leaves the office. Paper clips on the desk start floating around in orbit.

"The girl has great power, but it's nothing compared to the cybernetic mutant killer. He seems to be on Xavier's side. Try to fix that."

"It'll be difficult. He seems to be able to look through my disguises."

"Then get someone who is able to connect with him." Said the mysterious figure with an even nerdier helmet than Cerebro. "And make sure the girl stays in our ranks. Are you certain that the memories of the X-Men have faded?"

"Positive."

* * *

Outside the office, Rogue looks the communicator Jean gave her and thinks about what I said.

"Follow my heart." She says.

* * *

 **A/N: I notice that Razorpool being in this universe is changing the timeline a bit. Hope that doesn't lead to anything disastrous in the future. We can only** _ **hope**_ **.**


	5. Let the Fat Jokes Begin(from Razorpool)

This is so awesome! (I know. Told you this monster truck show would be amazing. You know after this, maybe we could sit in the park, and look at the sunset.) What? (Nothing.) You always do that. (I know.) ( **Ahem! We have a story to tell.** ) Oh right. Okay, so I'm at this monster truck show in Texas(in my disguise), where like hundreds of people are all cheery cheery. And so am I! I ignore the announcer for a while because I'm too entranced by the destruction the trucks cause. It's like I'm having an orgasm for mayhem.

( **You are so weird.** ) (Aren't we all?)

Alright, so I now listen to the announcer.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen. The main attraction of the evening. Let's give it up for the world's strongest teenager." How did they know I was here? "Fred 'The Blob' Dukes."

The overweight strongman takes of his cape revealing to be wearing an outfit that's almost as gay as any other superhumans in tights. He seems to be blond with a mohawk. Oh man, there are so many fat jokes I can say right now. But I'll be kind and wait for a few moments.

Blobby begins to tug on two big monster trucks as they put the pedal to the metal. The big meat-head barely budges and pulls in the two vehicles standing on their bumpers. The crowd cheers for the overweight dumbass and starts laughing when he falls on the ground trying to bow. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my goodness! Now I have to make a fat joke.

"Bet he thought he was gonna land in chocolate cake! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Just then, Logan and Jean look up from their seats and spot me. Why are they wearing a Texan getup. ( **Maybe because this is Texas.** ) (Nah, that can't be it.) Fat Boy got angry and went back to his trailer. Man he's pissed.

"Hey Jean babe! How you doing?!"

Logan sighs and wonders. "How does he show up at times like this?"

"No one knows. But the Professor wants him to join us because he might cause trouble with his powers. And I don't blame him for worrying." She whispers. "Razorpool, come join us!" She shouts towards me. "And don't teleport!" Crap.

"Alright fine!" I walk down and sit next to Jean. "Wasn't that hilarious? Pork Grind down there sure hit rock bottom. Or just the ground."

"No, it wasn't funny. He was pretty upset."

"Jean, if he walked into a buffet place and instantly came out, I guarantee you that place would shut down along with its other franchises around the world. I think he entered a hotel and once he left, that hotel became motel. A Thanksgiving dinner would be lunch for him everyday. And he wouldn't share any. I bet I would mistake his weight for a telephone number."

"Can you not make fun of Fred? Don't you see he's going through a lot in his life?" She's so kind.

"Okay. But only for a little while."

Logan gets up out of his seat. "Come on." He tips his hat up. "I smell a shapeshifter."

"I smell a transition." I said awesomely.

* * *

We walk to Blob's room, and saw a woman in the Blob's room, but the door shuts on us. Must be there to just talk to him, because there's no way a hot lady like that would bang him. But I'm pretty sure he would bang her. Flat on the ground.

( **Please stop fat shaming.** ) (Fat shaming? Look at that dude! His head's harder than a bowling ball, dropped from a skyscraper.)

"You know? Me or ol Wolvie can just cut the door down."

"But we're not gonna, because we don't wanna draw attention to ourselves."

"Wolverine's right. Let's just get back to Bayville."

* * *

The next day at Bayville(more like Boreville) High, Fat Dude(in his overalls) just exits the principal's office to get his schedule but has a hard time figuring it out. (Dumbass.) Duncan passes by him and gets picked up by the collar.

"Hey-hey you! Where am I supposed to be?"

"I don't know, how bout a sideshow, freak?" Duncan starts laughing his ass off.

Blob gets very angry, his face gets red, and throws the stereotypical jock across the room.

"Don't you, make fun, of me!" I've been doing that for a while. The white Rick Ross picks up a row of lockers and is about to smash them on the jock. (Yes! Kill him! Kill him like the worm he is!) Until beautiful Jean walks by and stops this violence. (Aw come on! Does anyone get killed on this show!?)

"Uh hi, umm. You must be new here." Blob turns around. "I'm Jean Grey."

Aww, the Blob starts to get a crush on Jean. Doesn't he know that she's my chick?

( **Keep dreaming.** )

"Oh, yeah I am. Uh, new I mean." Duncan takes this chance to flee like a pussy while Blob is distracted.

"I figured." She continues to talk as he puts the locker down. "So uh, what do your friends call you?"

"Don't know. Never had any friends." He shakes her hand. "My name is Fred. Fred Dukes."

"Well Fred, I wanna apologize for Duncan's behavior. He can be a real idiot sometimes." She looks at his dropped schedule, picks it up, and looks over it. Bet it's real simple. "Hey, did you need any help figuring this out?"

"Why yes. Please."

"Hmmm. Your first class is right over there." She points ahead of herself.

"Thanks."

"Don't worry. You'll get used to it. I'll see you around."

When she turns the corner, she bumps into me in my disguise leaning against the wall.

"That was cute. But you know you're starting to give him the wrong idea."

She looks at me like I'm crazy. "Oh yeah. And what would that be?"

"Hmmm. I don't know. Maybe that you like him. Like, like-like him. You know?"

"Please. I'm just trying to be friends with him."

"You're getting a little too friendly. This is gonna backfire on you. It's gonna damage our love Jean!" I said on my knees pleading to her. ( **What a bitch.** ) Hey, don't call her that! ( **I was talking about you.** )

"We're not dating Razorpool."

"But we should be. The fans demand it!"

"I don't have time for this. Go to the mansion, the professor wants to speak to you."

She walks straight to her class, leaving me a little confused.

( **What do you suppose Xavier wants with you?** ) (Probably wants to give us an award for helping him out so many times. Typical.) Whatever, let's just go.

* * *

I teleported out of the school and appeared at the entrance of the Xavier Institute.

"It feels weird."

( **How?** )

"I'm walking through the front door instead of sneaking in ninja style."

When I open the door, Logan and Ororo are there to escort me to Professor Kingpin.

"Don't worry, I know where to go."

The two adults just roll their eyes.

"We know. Just making sure you don't steal anything. For the hundredth time(true)." Logan states bluntly.

They show me to Professor X's office. It's so bland. Like it makes the word bland sound like a fun word. I sit down in the chair in front of the desk.

"Ah, Razorpool… Good to see you could make it."

Logan and Ororo are standing by both my sides. Chuck looks like he's about to say something he'll really regret for the rest of his life.

"Something wrong Mr. A little too Clean?"

He's hesitating to say the words he wants to say right now.

"Would you, ahem, like to join the X-Men?" Say wha?

Logan and Storm can't believe this is happening. Professor X inviting a handsome guy like me to join his team. They must be so glad that they're at a lost for words.

( **I didn't think he had it in him to ask you. Kinda surprised me.** ) (Don't do it Razorpool! If he joins then he'll get closer to Jean.) I'm gonna join them, so I can get close to Jean and hang out with Dream Buddy more often. (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) ( **Thanks for using up a single line dimwit.** )

"And what benefits do I get for joining this team of mutant geeks?"

"You can learn to control your powers better for the good of mankind. Be in a place where you'll feel at home. Learn to-"

"I'm in." I interrupted.

Xavier looks a little confused. "But I wasn't finished. I had this whole speech ready and everything."

"Thankfully we don't have to hear it."

(*Sobs* This can't be happening! *Keeps on sobbing*) ( **I told you so. I feel proud when I say that.** )

"Well, ummm, why don't you go out while everything gets settled. Sound good?"

"Yeah my nizzle! Razor out!" I teleported out of there.

Logan and Storm just shake their heads in disappointment.

"Professor, what have you done? He's a killer and his mind isn't very stable."

"That may be true, but there's always hope for redemption. Even for the insane."

* * *

Right now, I'm at the school cafeteria in my disguise getting my lunch. I haven't met the principal yet, but all I know is that she's a major drag. The X-Men(Kurt with his hologram disguise thingy) are at their table eating lunch, and Dream Buddy spots me.

"Hey, is that like, Razorpool?"

All of them look at the lunch line.

"Yeah, it is." Scott confirms. "Great, now we can't escape from him at school."

"Come on Scott, give him a chance. I think deep inside he wants to redeem himself and be something bigger than he already is." Jean states. (Insert sex joke here)

"Vhy is he vearing that getup? Doesn't he know he's attracting attention to himself?"

"I don't think he cares Kurt. But he does look kinda cool." Yes, Dream Buddy has my back!

It was my turn in line to get lunch, I got push down on the floor. I get up and see that it was none other than Fat Fred.

"Fill her up." He demands the lunch lady by also pointing down to his tray.

The lunch lady was terrified by this big bodied dude. And I was pissed off!

"Umm, excuse me jackass! It was my turn to get lunch! Not your's!"

"Well it's my turn now! So get lost pipsqueak!"

"That's it Big Show! You're going down!"

( **Wow. You just joined the X-Men, and already you're getting into a fight.** ) He started it!

I was about to punch him in his fucken fat face as Fatass gets ready to rumble, but we were stopped by gorgeous Jean. (Do these girl's always ruin everything? I wanted to see Razorpool take this slob down.)

"Whoa guys, there's no need to cause a big scene here. What's the problem?"

I put my hands down and so does McDonald's destroyer. "I was about to get my lunch, but Fatty Eats A Lot here pushed me down on the ground and thought he could get away with it!"

"Easy now. Fred, why would you push him out of the way? You could've waited your turn."

Dukes just sighs in shame. Yeah, you better be ashamed of yourself. "Your right Jean."

"Now Fred, what do you say to him?"

"*Sighs*, sorry." I know he dosen't mean it.

Jean nudges my shoulder.

"It's alright." I mumble.

"See? That wasn't so hard." Jean goes back to her table and watches for a bit to make sure nothing goes down.

I got my food on my tray, a couple of cheeseburgers, tacos, and a drink then went straight over the X-table and sat in between Jean and Dream Buddy.

"Sup guys! It's amazing to be here with my fellow X-Men."

Scott spits out his drink. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said 'sup guys', I thought you'd be better at hearing more than you are at seeing."

"No, after that."

"Oh, that it's amazing to be here with my fellow X-Men."

Dream Buddy was happy for me to be on the team. Kurt is a bit unsure about the ordeal. And Jean… she looks like she's about to go nuts.

'N-n-n-n-n-n-no, t-t-this c-c-can't be h-a-a-a-happening!' The young psychic keep telling herself over and over and over again in her head. I think she almost lifted her chair without noticing. She quickly fixes her expression and looks happy. "That's wonderful Razorpool." Her left eye twitches for some reason.

"This is great, now we can hang out more often and do tons of fun stuff together." See guys? Kitty's the best friend ever. "Oh, I just realized, we have two teleporters on the team now."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Fantastic."

"I know, right! Just think of all the adventures we'll be on. Which isn't any different from before. But now I have a room instead of living on your roof. God I'm going to miss living on that roof."

Kitty giggles at my statement and then Scott talks to us about how he has to work on a boring scene from Henry V. Pott- I mean Scott.

"You and Rogue? That is a strange combination, yeah." Kurt points out.

"Yeah, I gotta play a romantic scene with a girl who thinks we tried to kill her. Man, she's gonna have to be some kind of an actress."

"My friend, you have got to invite me to the rehearsals." Kurt then starts to laugh and Scott follows along.

"But it was weird how she didn't want anyone at the practice."

I laugh at his comment. "Dude, how is that weird? It seems like something she would want. Including some KFC chicken with hot sauce."

"I wasn't finished. It was weird how she didn't mind you being there. And let's be honest, you're not a very likeable person. You pissed Wolverine off, and you two didn't meet the first time, stole Storm's jewelry, and I can tell you're aggravating the professor and he's a very patient guy. It's a mystery how he let you join the X-Men." Scott is jelly.

"I'm telling you. It's my good looks. They worked on Jean." (And me.) What? (I said me money was stolen.) Oh. Okay, hope you get your cash back. ( **The hints are right in front of you Pool!** )

"No they didn't. Why would they? I can't see your face."

Fat Freddy walks by as the whole table(except me) laugh and got a little upset. He sits down at his table but falls down catapulting his food at Duncan. Dickhead Duncan gets pissed(man is everyone getting angry in this episode) and the whole cafeteria gets filled with dramatic stares.

I decided to say something. "So is anyone gonna fight? Or are we just gonna keep staring? I like the tension. I'll just eat my food now."

"Bad move, Blob Boy." Duncan threatens as he and his cronies group up against Duke.

There's only one person that can solve this… me. Someone has to shake Jean out of her… state. I keep poking Jean's chest with my fingertip.

"Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean, a need a new Jean jacket, Jean, Jean, Jean-"

Jean snaps at me. "What?!"

"Hi. And Duncan and his gaybuddies are about to pound Fred into a blubbery pulp. Can you solve this whole thing because I don't feel like it."

"Razorpool, can you stop?"

"Stop what?"

"Poking my chest. It's kinda, inappropriate." Jean blushed a little bit.

"It's how I roll baby."

Scott smacks my hand away from Jean's chest.

"Okay, can you just stop your meathead from beating up a fat kid?"

The Blob tries to get up put slips onto his gut because of the spilt food. All the students laugh at his big ass and this makes Fatty upset. Boo hoo. What a bunch of jerks.

( **But you're laughing at him too.** ) Shhh. I'm trying to appeal to chicks who feel bad for this fatass… I mean why would I do that? I'm a kind and caring soul. (Yeah, he was pretty helpful interrogating that blind lady by threatening to kill her on the spot.) Anyway, let's get back to Fat Boy.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's funny cause he's fat!" I stated.

Fred's face starts turning red since almost everyone is laughing.

"DON'T LAUGH AT ME!" Man. Something tells me he's mega pissed.

He starts to throw food at Duncan and his gangbangers knockinng them down.

A kid yells. "FOOD FIGHT!" Hope he's not talking about the animated movie. Maybe that's why most of the students are running out of here. (Ba Dum tss.)

Dukey keeps on throwing a lot of food around the place hitting a lot of people. Scott and Kurt duck out the way of the onslaught. Unfortunately, me and Kitty got hit.

"Excuse me, I'm skipping dessert." Kitty Kat phases down into the ground.

"Jean you better do something. Or I will." My voice sounded like person trying not to sound angry but happy but people knew that person was pissed off anyway.

Jean quickly goes to the Butter Fucker I threatened to kill to calm him down or I was gonna put him down. Permanently.

"Fred please, calm down." Jean deflect the incoming food with her powers, luckily every non-mutant student was outta the lunch room.

Budder Ball swings a table around knocking everything out of his way.

"Fred stop!" Jean runs towards him but slips on a piece of cake. (Lame.) She probably shouldn't be wearing those dollar store sandals.

Fred kept swinging the table around until I cut up the table in the blink of an eye. I went to Jean and gave her support.

"Put the table down Fred."

"You heard her Gut Boy. If you want a fight, allow me to cut down your calories."

"It's okay, I'll handle this. Everything's fine, isn't it Fred."

Oh brother. Fred sniffs his tears back in. I hope he becomes bald in the future. ( **Then you are gonna be one happy merc.** ) "They shouldn't have laughed at me!"

"No, no they shouldn't."

"Even though you looked like a complete retard."

My comment makes Fatty angry. Jean has had enough of it.

"Listen, it's bad enough I have to live with you, but it's really annoying when you insult others and their gifts! Why do you have to be such a jerk?!"

I get up turn the other way. "I understand now."

"Good."

"I understand that I have to come up with even better insults now! Thanks Jean!" I walk off and Scott instantly went to Jean to calm her down since she looks like she's about to explode and open a can of whoopass on me.

Scott's having difficulty. "Let it go Jean. He's not worth it."

"I just can't stand him!"

Blob looks at me with major rage as I walk out the door.

* * *

When, I exited the lunchroom I turn to see Rogue pretending to not notice me by opening her locker.

"Wow, y'all really look out for each other, don't you?"

"Nah, I just had to protect my bae. There's no way I'm letting Fatass smash her."

"Do you want to rephrase that?"

"No. I'm too lazy. Tell me. Why aren't you afraid of me? Except for my good looks."

She just sighs. "Oddly enough, you're the only person that didn't try to kill me. From what I heard from y'all table, your are kind of a pest, except to that Kitty girl."

"Pfft, that's their way of showing love to me. Kitty's just nicer because we are-" I jump in the air and rainbows and sparkles show up behind me. "DREAM BUDDIES!"

The southern goth beauty is confused. "Dream Buddy? Don't tell."

"Yes, it's true."

"Oh my god!" She is now mortified. "You two actually do it?"

"I knew that you would get it."

"You're one freaky boy."

"I know."

"So, are you gonna see my rehearsal with Summers? It would be nice if you could make it."

(Oh my god! Don't hang out with her! She's the enemy! And all enemies must die!) Please. I can trust Roguey, even though she's an energy vampire.

"Well sure, anything for sexy babe like you."

Rogue actually smiled and kicks the ground a bit. "Oh stop it. You're just saying that to be nice." She turns around and sees that I'm gone. "Shoot."

* * *

When it was time for all students to get out of school, I walked over to Jean and her friend.

"Jean! I missed you!" I yelled as I ran towards her.

(Give me a break!) ( **I love karma.** )

The psychic was really embarrassed and tried to look away.

"Who's that Jean?" Her friend asked. Maybe we can have a threesome. (NO!)

"This is-"

"Razon Decon. That's my name. Never wear it out babe."

Her friend extends her hand out to me. "Hi Razon, I'm Taryn Fujioka. You must be new here."

She wants me. I just know it. But I can't shake her hand for obvious reasons(robo hands).

"No mean to be rude, but I can't shake your hand." I signal Jean giving her the message that she understands.

Jean gets in between us to save me from getting exposed. "He's right. Because he's wearing special gloves that I gave him for his birthday. They mean a lot to him."

(Really? And you want to sleep with this girl Razorpool?) She's so smart. (Grrrr!)

"That's right." I get closer to her ear. "But I can promise you we can touch later." I run from the scene since I just remembered to watch Atlanta's(Rogue) practice with Cole(Scott) leaving the two girl's dumbfounded.

* * *

I hide behind a tree to teleport to wherever Rogue was.

( **I'm just gonna pretend that it makes total sense that we know where the practice is even though Rogue never told us where she was gonna be.** ) (Yeah, it makes total sense. Because of writing!) ( ***Sighs*** )

I appear in front of the two actors and sit next to Rouge.

"Did I miss anything?"

"Just a little bit. But I'm still glad you could make it."

"Me too."

The both of us laugh together for a while. Scott still can't believe that Rouge considers that I'm safe to hang around and already gets impatient.

"Right. Can we continue?"

"Sure." Rogue looks a little sad.

Speedy Dave clears his throat and gets ready to rumble! I mean act… Don't judge me, you know what I've been through. Been through the ladies booty. "Do you like me Kate?"

Juicy. "Pardon moi? I cannot tell what is 'like me'."

"An angel is like you."

"Repealing all the maidens that have the heart, mind, and soul of pure evil in the far reaches of the land. Your divine grace and beauty alone sets my heart ablaze. But this blazing inferno warms my cold blessing." Damn. I killed it.

Both of the two mutants are stupefied by my surprise performance.

Rogue was the first to speak. "You know, for a merc, you sure are soft." She sounded very teasingly and… flirty? (Razorpool, stop going soft!) I'm not soft! I can still kill. Like that hooker from the last episode. (That's baby level!)

"I'm just a very artistic person." I tip my hat like a pro. "Not a softie."

Rogue giggles for a bit and surprises Scott.

'How?! How is he doing this?!'

Nightcrawler teleports to the scene in his trademark sulfur smoke with his full uniform on.

"Whoa, did something funny happen? Sorry to interrupt."

"Ugh, I swear he's like an annoying little brother."

Kurt sticks his tongue at her. Yeah bro! You showed her!

"Jean's been nabbed."

Me and Scott both get furious.

"What/What!"

I grab the fuzzball by the collar.

" **State the culprit who did the crime. Termination is in order. Must eliminate mutant threat. ELIMINATE!** "

( **Uh, what was that? Why did you speak with my bolded letters?** ) (He sounded so dreamy.)

My teammates were scared out of there mind. Rogue puts her hand on my shoulders to calm me down.

"Whoa, whoa. Take it easy. We don't need anyone's grave being dug today."

I let go of Kurt and sit down.

My rage settled down and I was confused. "Sorry, what happened?"

Game Master tells me the situation. "You went into killer mode. Not sure if that's any more different than how you're normally are." Thanks for the kind words One-eyed Jack.

I shed a little tear. Manly tears guys, I'm not weak! "Who stole my Jeany?!"

Laser Guy knows it. I can feel it. He slams the table showing that he must get the idea of who done it. "Blob. If he's hurt her I'll-" He looks at Rogue who looks down in the dumps. "You know anything about this?!"

"No. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

"Then I hope you can live with your conscious." He puts his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Teleporter set to maximum Mr. Wagner."

"Aye captain." He saluted.

"Engage."

They teleported out of here leaving me here with Rogue. Assholes!

"Thanks guys! You did a great job leaving me here with Roguey!"

There was awkward silence in the around us.

"So, you gonna save that Jean girl?" The gothic chick asks with a saddy face.

"Well of course!" I get up to leave. "But I think I'll leave you my number before I go save my girl." I teleported out of there leaving a sticky note behind.

Marie picks it up and smiles.

* * *

I teleport on the school rooftop(Bayville) and scanned the area for clues on where Nappa took Cuddles. I see that a construction site was destroyed indicating Jean had tried to get away from Fred but failed, giving Fred the advantage of stealing her from me.

( **That still doesn't tell us where Jean is.** ) (I hope we never find her. *Grumbles a bunch of words* WHATEVER, I DON'T CARE! BAKA!)Okay then.

So as I was saying(FUCK YOU!), how do I find Jean?(if any of you nerds say I should've put asking instead of saying, do a backflip out of a window and die on a ashtray)

Hmm, if I was a fat boy where would I take my crush?

( **An abandoned factory.** ) (The strip club.) Those two are very good suggestions. So I'll think about it in my room. I teleported to the X-Mansion and went to Prof. to ask him where my room is.

* * *

The rest of the X-Men(besides Jean bae of course) were grouped up in the Cerebro room in their uniforms.

"Thanks!"

I got there attention, especially Scott and Kurt.

"For what?" Dream Buddy asks.

I flail my arms in the air and throw off my disguise. "Leaving me with Roguey. Which isn't bad since she's hot, but still was mean of you guys to leave me behind!"

"Alright, just stop flailing your arms in the air before you-" Scott was interrupted when I accidently broke up half the ceiling. "break the ceiling. *sighs*"

There was dust on all the people in the room and everyone was mad.

"Razorpool just follow the others to where Jean may possibly be."

"I call shotgun in Scott's car!"

"Oh no you don't! I don't trust a guy like you to be in my car!"

"Okay. Then, I guess you won't be surprised when your ride mysteriously ends up at the bottom of the ocean. But how on Earth can that **ever** happen?" I smile under my helmet that i can never take off.

"Dream Buddy, be nice to Scott. He's going through a lot."

"Mien frien, just let him sit in you car." Kurt tells him.

Scott gives up. "Fine!" He pokes my chest. "Just don't mess with anything."

"I make no promises."

Scott grunts and we just go to the garage and enter the vehicles.

* * *

"Are we there yet Cyclops?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are you sure?"

"We haven't even left yet!"

"Oh… How bout now?"

"Screw this." He put the pedal to the metal and we drove off along with the X-Van.

As we drive over to the location, I ask Cole a question.

"Why are we going to save Jean?"

Scott stops the car. "How dare you say that?!"

"I mean not that I don't care about her, which I do care about her a lot in more ways than one, it's that Wolvie found out where she is. And he's got adamantium bone claws. So he can take out a fatass like Blob easily. Granted I could do it too."

He sighs and continues to drive. "You should now that I care about her as well. Very much. And that Wolverine is not unbeatable."

As he said that, the Professor contacts us.

"Wolverine's got the location. I'm transferring coordinates to all of you."

Cyclops makes a u-turn very quickly.

"Got it. Be there in three." He says.

"Are you sure we'll be there in three?"

"If you're lucky, it'll be less than two."

* * *

We make it to the location, which seems like an abandoned iron works factory.

(Damn it!) ( **Told you so.** ) (Shut up!)

It looks like Nappa was suffocating Koga.

"Jean's my friend! You can't take her!"

"Stay back Pool. I'll handle this."

"Hey, Jean's my girl! I'll save her!" (Don't save her!)

"Just relax. I can take this guy on." Phrasing? He shoots an optic blast over Blob(who's still pinning down Wolvie). "We're just giving her a way out. Through you if necessary." Scott cranks up his beam but Blob blocks it. With his body! And throws the old geezer at him into his motorbike knocking his visor off. Making them go sleepy sleep.

"Well, this looks like a job for me!" (Yeah!) ( **It's about time.** )

"Don't forget about me, sugar." Huh?

"Huh? Is right." I get out of the car and slam the door hard breaking it. "I'll just blame Blob."

And see Roguey approaching Scott.

"Hello to you too." She touches Scott's head and her eyes go red.

"So, you're gonna help me?"

"Of course."

"Alright, let's go!" I run in there along with the energy drainer and stab Blob in the back making him bleed badly. What? I was designed to kill mutants. Don't act surprised! (Yeah!)

"AHHHHHHHHHH! That actually hurts you little runt!" He tries to shake me off, but to no avail. "GET OFF ME!"

"Alright." I take my swords out of him and teleport a few feet from him. "NOW!"

Rogue fires an optical beam from her eyes but it does nothing to him. But he's still hurt from my attack.

"Leave her alone, ya yahoo!"

"Yeah, Fatboy!"

"Why can't anyone leave me alone!"

"Because you're a cunt mate! But don't worry, Roguey can help you out with her magic touch."

"Huh?"

Roguey touches Blob's forearm and flips him with sudden super strength into some junk added with an optic blast into some big junk… I'm starting to think I should date her instead of Jean. (NO! IDIOT!)

"Damn girl! You knocked his bitch ass out! Like out cold!"

"Aw shucks. It was nothing."

I jump down from the raptor to congratulate Rogue and then go off to free Jean. You know it isn't over. But Blob gets up and is mad.

"You think two runts like you can beat me! I'M THE BLOB!" He roars out.

"I guess he wants more!" I use my force powers to push him down on the ground and then I repeatedly stab him in the gut making him bleed like crazy. "Just helping a fat dude cut down calories. Nothing dangerous."

"STOP IT!"

"Sorry, but when you mess with my Jeany Bear, you have to die. Who am I kidding? I'm not sorry one bit." I take out one of my swords in his skin. "Now time for the head! And in this hotel stay, you'll check out in. **In death!** " I get ready to stab Blob through the skull but Rogue holds me back.

"Don't do it!" She had tears in her eyes. (Oh for fuck's sake!) "I know that this big buffon has kidnapped this Jean girl, but he dosen't deserve death!" Oh my god. I made a girl that I like(and/or care about) cry. "Don't become a monster! Don't be killer!" She sheds tears.

I think about this. If he's dead. Then who am I gonna make fun of for being fat.

"Rogue, I'm not a monster, I'm not human, I'm not a mutant, I'm not a cyborg. In all honesty, I don't know what I am anymore." I punch Blob in the face multiple times very hard making him cough a lot of blood. And I gave him a black eye on the left. "You're not getting out of this without punishment! Jabba the Gutt!" Yes, I was waiting a long time to make that joke. ( **Christ man.** )

"But you already stabbed him in the stomach multiple times." Rogue states.

"Oh. Right. My bad." … "Want to send him flying into the air?"

"You know it!"

I use my powers to lift Blob into the air and Rogue sends him flying through the roof with an optic blast. I hope wherever he lands. Some birds are laughing at him.

I give Rogue a five hive but hurt her hand in the process. Damn it.

"Ow!"

"I keep forgetting I have robo-hands. My bad."

"It's alright. Accidents happen."

We go over to Jean, who looks pretty scared out of her **mind**. (Badum tss.) ( **Please, stop with the power jokes.** )

"Jean! It's alright! We saved you from the fat dude!" I cut off the metal thingies that constricted her to a chair. "Everything is going to be okay. Oh yeah, and, I told you that you gave him the wrong idea!"

She instantly backs off away from me.

"I thought you could change, but it turns out I was wrong. You almost killed Fred!"

"But he was the bad guy! And he pissed me off. Because he kidnapped you!"

"You don't have to resort to killing. That's not what we're about. We don't go around killing people or mutants otherwise!"

"Meh! You still love me."

She instantly smacks me on my helmet and breathes in and out to try and relax.

"Just, **try** to refrain from killing anyone. Evil or otherwise. And, thank you for rescuing me."

"No probs, Tiger."

"Why did you call me that?"

"No reason." I winked under my helmet. "Let's just get to the others because I'm running out of good jokes for this episode."

We quickly go to the two unconscious mutants where Kurt and Kitty just arrived to the scene.

"Vas this? Vhy is blood dripping from your swords my friend?"

I look at my two weapons. "Oh, that. I almost killed Blob but Rogue here stopped me. No biggie."

"Um, that's a big biggie! You like almost killed someone!" Dream Buddy yells. Geez! They're acting like I'm the bad guy! When I tried to kill the bad guy.

"I already told Jean, I'll try not to kill anyone next time."

Wolverine starts to recover. "Ugh! What happened? *Sniff* *Sniff* Why do I smell blood?"

"No! We are not doing this cliche in this fanfiction!"

"Our ninja friend almost killed Blob." Dammit Kurt!

"Don't worry. I heard killing is wrong." I said like a kid in school who knows he did something wrong but doesn't give two shits in the world about the situation at hand! ( **Done?** ) Yeah.

"I feel like you don't care at all."

I tried to distract them. "Ooo, look! Cyclops is waking up!"

Scott recovers slowly and Roguey grabs his visor and puts it on him. I was just lying about him waking up… Good thing it was true.

"There you go. I only took a short-term dose of your power. You should be back to normal soon."

"Wow, you are like an angel, Kate."

Rogue then starts to feel bad. "My name's not Kate. And I'm no angel."

Jean was a bit confused. "But you helped us. Why?"

Marie gets emotional. "I don't know. I just don't know!" Just great! She runs away!

"Hey wait!" Jean gets stopped by Wolverine.

"Easy Red. Let her go."

"But she-"

"She ain't ready. Trust me on this."

"And me too baby." I put my arm around her shoulder.

We all see Rogue run off, and Dream Buddy makes a valid point in a moment.

"She may belong to the dark icky side. But I like think we totally owe her now."

(Great. Just great. Now we can't buy that new supply of beer.) ( **You need an intervention.** )

Scotty agrees with her. "Yeah. Yeah we do. Big time."

"You guys owe me too. I helped a lot." I state.

They all groan knowing that they all now owe me too. All those in favor of going to our new room, say I.

(I.) ( **I.** ) I. Great, let's cut to it.

* * *

I'm at my room right now at the mansion inn nighty time. And let me tell you. It's perfect! My roommates are a family of rats, the ceiling looks like it's going to break apart, and the walls are very dirty. Oh, and the floor is very messy. (Ah, it's like home sweet home here.) ( **You guys are terrible! You already messed up the room the first step you took.** ) Yep. We're pretty impressive.

I jump on my bed and watch T.V(that I totally didn't steal😉). I get a call from Rogue and answer my cell.

"Hey Roguey. What happening homedawg?"

"Hi Razor. Listen, I want to talk to you in private. It's really important."

Hmmm. Rogue wants to talk to me in private… I don't see anything going wrong in this situation. (Don't do it!) I'm gonna do it.

"Alright, sure. I'll be there real soon."

"Thanks. You're a really good friend. I'll be at the spot where I practiced the lines with Scott." She hangs up.

* * *

I teleported out of my room and to said spot goth chick mentioned in the text above.

"Where is she?" I ask myself.

(Oh well. She's not here. Let's just leave.) ( **There she is. Right behind that tree.** )

I look at the tree and see her. "Rogue, what are you doing behind that tree?"

"Just making sure no one sees me."

"That's smart. So, what do you want to talk about? In the middle of this beautiful night that usually occurs for a romance scene."

She smiles for a bitbit but stops when we sit down at the table.

"I've been feeling lonely lately. And it just keeps getting worse everytime I'm with someone special."

"Like who?"

"Like you ya big buffon!"

"Hold on, let me check the wikia… and nope. I'm not a big buffon because you are taller than me, and older."

She just rolls her eyes and ignores my weirdness. "Anyway, you know that I can't touch anyone right?"

"Right."

"And for years that made me very… unsocial from other kids. Even if they might've been mutants too. But I've noticed that a couple of times when I touch you with my bare hands, you're not affected at all. And so am I."

"Yeah, I'm special like that. But is that suppose to mean something?"

She sighs like she's dealing with a kid that has special needs. "I feel like it does, but I don't know. I just want to get close to somebody. Somebody that can connect with me."

"Great." I get close to her ear. "Who's that somebody?" I whispered softly.

She knocks me down hard on the ground. "I don't know why I like you sometimes. I was wondering if…"

I get closer to her face. "Yes, what is the wonder?"

"You! I was wondering if I could kiss you!" She yells furiously.

(Don't do it! It's a trap!)

This put me in a bit of a shock. "Umm, Rogue, I like you, but even I think this is a bit sudden."

"No. I'm saying I want to kiss you just so I could know how it would feel. I'm just curious."

"Well, I'm sorry Rogue I can't."

"What?! Why won't you help me?! I thought we were friends!" She was about to cry. Are you kidding me?! Everyone knows the real reason I can't kiss anyone.

"I'm not saying I wouldn't kiss you. I mean look at you. You're gorgeous!"

"Then why can't you?!" She was really angry but still had tears in her eyes.

"Because I can't take this helmet off. There is a lock on my helmet that I can't find that prevents me from taking it off." I hang my head in shame and Rogue puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright sugar. I understand."

I think about the situation and came up with a solution. "Tell ya what. I'll try to get the X-Dorks help in getting this helmet off me, and when it's off, I'll call you, then we can kiss. How does that sound?"

She wipes the tears from her eyes. "Wow, you'd really would do that for me?"

"Why not? Even though you're on the other side and I'm only in the X-Men because I want to get with Jean and hang out with Dream Buddy. Oh, and I can steal even more food and look at Jean in the shower."

Marie laughs for a long while and I laugh with along with her.

"The funny thing is, your visor is shaped like an X, and you coincidently join a team called the X-Men! Hahahahaha!" She tries to hold in the rest of her laughter with her hands.

"Crazy right." I fell off my seat from laughter. "Oh man. This was a nice talk. We'll I think this is considered one of my rare normal talks from time to time."

"Yeah, I never thought I would be friends with a ninja."

"A lot of people say that." I get up from the ground and dust the dirt off me. "I better get back to the mansion now before Professor Clean gets on my ass." I jump on a tree branch. "See ya later." I teleported away from there. (I hate you. So much.) ( ***Coughs* Jealous. *Coughs twice quickly*** ) (I'm not jealous!)

Rogue smiles at the distance. 'One day.'

* * *

 **A/N: Try to find out the references in this chapter. :)**


	6. Sharp Speed Razorpool

Yes! ( **What?** ) This is the day! After weeks of trying to take off this head prison, they finally did it! I don't know how, but I don't care! (Woohoo! Now I can see what your handsome face looks like.) Thank you crazy voice. ( **I'm not gonna say anything. I'm just waiting till you figure it out.** ) Oh right, I gotta start the chapter off. Oops. Well, I'm at the Prof's office and he may have found the lock.

"Oh my. How did we ever miss this? Umm, Razon, pass your hand over the side of your helmet."

I just shrug my shoulders. "Alright!" I did like he said and heard a beeping sound. "Okay, so that's probably the signal that I can take this off now." I pull off my helmet and it comes off. I couldn't see my face since there wasn't a mirror around at the moment.

"I can't believe it.!" Chucky was so surprised.

"What? Oh god! Am I hideous?! Doubt it."

(You're in for a shocker.)

* * *

Like an hour later, all the X-Men(except me) are grouped up wearing their pajamas in the kitchen wondering why the Professor called them there in the first place at night. Logan was pissed. Scott was too tired to care. Nightcrawler wanted to go back to sleep. Kitty was very cranky 'I'm like so gonna hit him in his bald head'. Jean's eyes was still shut a bit. Storm's hair was messier than the other girls'. Charles rolls into the room and is not nervous at all despite waking all the X-Men up in the middle of the night.

Logan speaks first. "This better be important Chuck. You woke me up out of a good nap."

Jean looks around for me. "Hey, why isn't Razorpool here with us?"

"That's the reason I called you all here. It's a surprise that we'll most utterly surprise you all." He turns towards the door. "You can come out now."

I walk through the entry and surprise everyone especially Kitty and Jean.

"Like, oh my god!" Kitty was jumping for joy. "You're actually a cute guy!"

Wait what!? What on Earth did those painful ass experiments do to me!? Cause I don't believe they would leave me to be handsome! But then again. I'm me.

"You're face isn't what I expected. I thought it would be gruesome." Thanks Scotty.

"Jah! Your hair is veird though mein frien." He inspects it even more. "It looks more unnatural than mine."

My hair!

"Kid. You look like kinda normal." Logan states. "Almost thought he was related to Storm."

"Somebody give me a mirror!"

Storm goes to open a draw and grabs a mirror. "Here."

I hold the mirror at my face and look at myself. My skin complexion is still the same, it looks like I haven't aged one bit, but there were two problems. "MY HAIR AND EYES! They're red!"

(Now you look like an anime character. A dreamy anime character.) ( **You honestly don't look that bad man.** )

My hair was spikier than the last time I saw it, eyebrows were red also but a bit black. So, like two years of torture and experimentation gave me red hair and eyes. I thought I would be hideous.

"I guess this means I can start going to school now." Aw man. I have to learn.

"But what about the rest of you? Like, it's totally noticeable." Kitty asks.

"Well, I'll just put clothes over it. Oh here's something funny. The whole time I'm without the disguise, I'm practically naked."

They take a step back.

"Wait. So, all those missions, you were naked!?" Jean yells angrily.

"Well, yes. But at the same time, no. Since this is both my body and suit. My robotic limbs heal like the rest of my body."

"Alright, that's enough talk for now. It's time we all get to bed. See all of you in the morning." The Professor rolls off. 'Storm, I would like to have a word with you.'

* * *

We all go to our rooms and instantly fell asleep.

( **That went better than expected.** ) (Duh.)

I throw a grenade at the wall, bouncing it back to me and I throw it back at the wall to repeat it over.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Maybe, look at Jean in the shower, for the tenth time. Prank Scott with Kurt. Hang with Dream Buddy or Rogue-wait a minute!" The grenade bounces off my head and out the window, exploding in the fountain. Crap. "That's right. I have to kiss Rogue since my helmet is off now." I send the energy vampire a text message that looks like this.

Me: Hey Roguey. I'm able to take my helmet off now. Things don't look reddish anymore. So, when can we meet up?

I press send. It's night time, so I don't think she'll answer right away. Time to go sleepy sleep.

* * *

In the morning, Dream Buddy wakes me up all dressed up for school.

"Morning sleepy head."

(Tell her to go away. I'm still tired.)

"Sup Dream Buddy. Why did you wake me up? I was dreaming about naked women on my jock."

"Yes, I know. You sleep talk. Very loudly. And what you say is sometimes like very disturbing." She jumps back. "Oh, and Storm wants to see you in the Professor's office."

I flip outta my bed. "Alright! Let's go!" I hug Dream Buddy, put my helmet on, and teleport to the office not noticing Kitty blushing as red as my hair.

I appear at the Professor's office and there's the Professor sitting behind his desk with Storm right next to him.

"Sop Proffy. Why'd you call me here? I was about to look at Jean in the showers."

Prof. X just smacks his head and quickly turns to his normal expression.

( **Well. The summary isn't wrong. You're giving Charles major headaches.** )

"Razorpool, we called you here to inform you-"

"Oooo! Are you gonna let me marry Jean? I knew this day would come. I got everything prepped, and I got the best man ready to go."

"No, that is definitely not it." Proffy said. "We want to inform you that you are being adopted."

I choke a bit. "I'm sorry what?! I'm so happy! I bet you told my new guardian all about me."

"Actually, she already knows about you." He fakes a smile.

( **This is so obvious! Razorpool, don't be stupid!** ) (I bet we're being adopted by an ice cream lady!) ( **Unlikely.** )

I tap my foot rapidly. "Well. Who's my new momma?"

"She's in this very room." The bald eagle states.

"Wha?" I then look at Storm. OMG! "Are you serious?"

Stormy rolls her eyes. 'That's what I asked him?'

"Yes I am. It seems to me that you are a little out of control. All the time. So we decided that it was best that you had someone to watch over you more often."

(Razy has a mommy.*teasingly*) Shut up. Bodiless female.

I tackle Storm to the ground giving her a big hug. "I love my new momma."

Mom is very aggravated by this. 'I'm going to need to take a trip to the spa.'

"Great. Now move along you two. I have some work to do."

We exit outside and Momma tells me what she has planed.

"Listen Razorpool, tonight is my nephew Evan's basketball game, and I think it would be good for us to bound a bit if you came to the event."

"Well, I love to trash talk at sports events and spit game with the cheerleaders. Sure, why not?"

"Right, just don't wear your helmet, and put on some normal clothes. Also, don't embarrass yourself please." She orders.

"I'll try."

She tries her best not to yell at me.

"Just get ready."

I run off to my room and got dressed in a red jersey with the number 7 on the back, black pants, and black boots. I also put on some black gloves to hide my robot hands. Damn, I need to steal some new clothes. (Word playa.)

* * *

It was like night time, great now I'm starting to talk like Kitty. Anyway, I introduced myself to Evan's parents and the game was actually pretty awesome. Vivian was an African-American woman with some awesome bangs and gold square earrings. Mmmmm, gold. Unfortunately, my new mom was watching me very carefully just to make sure I didn't cause any trouble period. Mr. Daniels(they never tells us his name in the show) looked little bit like Luke Cage(Power-Man) that's his description. But I was still talking trash as usual. It was fourth quarter and Evan's team's score was 81 and the other team was 82. The crowd was roaring with anticipation.

Evan was doing alright but if I was on that team, they would have been win.

( **Are you still mad that you can't join a sports team because of your cybernetic abilities and that it would be considered cheating even without using teleportation and the fact that you have like limitless energy and have more skills than an olympic athlete or any athlete period?** ) MAYBE! I mean, nah, that's not it at all.

"Wow, look at the other team! They're garbage man! Jumps are lamer than the shits I take after eating a burger taco with radioactive chipotle that got stood up by his date and is pissed off causing him great turmoil in his pathetic life making him want to commit suicide by jumping the tall building he could find! They should like- and there's the Kitty talk again." I look at the cheerleaders. "Those cheerleaders though. I wouldn't make any fouls with them."

The parents look at me like I'm crazy. Why does everyone do that?

Vivian(Evan's mom) whispers into my mom's ear.

"I know that you wanted to be a mother for the joy of parenthood, but why be a mother for that young man."

"Because, he's been through alot and he really needs someone responsible to guide him in his life. And before I adopted him he was kinda like family to me." 'In the annoying way.'

"Oh, so he's a bit of a rebel." The dad(his name was never mentioned in the series so I'm really sorry) says. "I bet he and Evan will get along just fine."

Mom laughs a little. "Me too. Razon and Evan are a bit similar." 'Except Razon has killed thousands or maybe even trillions.'

Vivian smiles at the comment. "Well, I'm glad he's a part of the family." She then looks back to Evan. "Get him! Steal the ball!"

"Set up your zone! Don't let em shoot!" Mr. Daniels was really hyped about this game. Good for him.

"Is it always this exciting?" Mom asks him.

"No. This one's a real nail biter." I'm mad that they writers of this show made him say that. ( **It's like they want to torment you.** ) (It's funny because he has no nails since his hands are robotic.)

"That white haired kid seems a little too fast if you ask me-" Oh my god. Is that? It can't be!

I look closer at the player. Yep, white hair, smug look, blue eyes. It's Quicksilver! One of the coolest characters in the Marvel Universe! Behind me of course. But he's awesome nonetheless! One of the few characters in this show that doesn't have whack-ass powers! Again, behind me of course. But, I hate him more than I like him. One, he hates robots. Especially ones that bangs his relatives.

So yeah. We are not going to get along right away.

Mamma Storm cheers for Evan. "You can do it Evan! Shoot! Shoot!"

"Yeah! Remember! There are cheerleaders dude! Cheerleaders!" Hey. That's the best cheer any man can get.

Anywho~! Evan steals the ball from the dude that took it and makes that shot. Winning the game. Hold on! Didn't Pietro pass it to him, than he made the shot in the episode?

( **You didn't get the clues did you?** ) What clues?! (About the timey stuff.) Huh? ( **Well, Irene said she never saw you in any of her visions because you might be an anomaly in the timeline.** ) Continue, I'm eating popcorn in my mind. ( **And, the author note said that you being here is changing the timeline a bit. So by scientific analysis, you're changing the timeline with your presence slowly but fast at the same time. There are gonna be major changes in the future, and it'll be on you. But, I know this also, your choices will define the events that happen in this universe. So be cautious.** ) Be cautious? (We're doomed!) Hold on! I'm sure everything will be fine. Remember. It's me! This universe loves me. And I'll be sure that I can handle it. ( **I'm gonna regret this. But, I t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-trust you Razorpool.** ) Good. Now let's back.

A dude blocked Evan too late and knocks him across the floor. In response, spikes came from Evan's forearm scratching up the floor. Everyone was too busy on the shot except for me and Mom. We gave each other that 'Did you see what I see?' look. The team cheers for Evan and carries him off. The whole place cheers for Evan's team. Well, except Pietro. Who's being a salty bitch(duh).

"That was awesome!" I said. "He had-" Momma quickly covers my mouth.

"Great offense, as you would put." She finishes my sentence to cover up what I was about to say and smiles.

"Come on Razon. Let's go congratulate your cousin."

We both get up to walk off.

"Alright, see you two later." Mr. Daniels waved.

"Make sure Evan is alright!" Vivian shouts. I guess I should call her Auntie D now.

* * *

As we walk to the locker room, Mom scalds me. ( **Wow, first day of being a son and you already got in trouble.** ) Not my fault man!

"I can't believe you almost exposed Evan!"

"Really? You can't believe **I** would cause trouble for someone?"

She been got. "Fair point. Next time, try to be considerate. I know many people have probably already told you this in the past, but can you at least think about things before you do it."

"I don't know. Sometimes I think. Sometimes I don't. My thoughts are kinda messed up. I can't even keep up with myself sometimes."

'I've got a lot on my hands with this child.' "That's good to know."

We approach the locker room but see that Speedy Gon-Hairline got beef with Evan.

"Everyone knows that if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had that last shot. I knew I should've just taken myself." Need some peanut butter with that jelly Pietro?

"Hey, you did great man. But there's no way you could've made it down the court in time for a shot." If you only knew blond Balrog from Street Fighter.

"Hey dude!" He slams the locker than speeds behind Evan. "I got moves you can't even imagine in a lifetime. And I'm sick of holding back just to make guys like you look good." He walks out of the locker room very quickly.

We knew it was time to go in.

"Seems like that boy was competing with you ever since you were babies."

Evan was happy to see Mom. "Hey Auntie O, what's up! Where's Dad and Mom?" He asked not even noticing me in the room.

"Waiting outside. I think the boys locker room makes your mother nervous."

He grabs his duffel bag. "Right. It's tight that you showed."

"And miss my favorite nephew's big game?" She hugs him. "Not a chance."

"Yeah, me too." I said also hugging them.

This weirded Evan out. "Umm, who are you?"

We break from the hug. Aw man. I like hugs.

"Right, the name's Razon D. Wilson(I wanted Wilson to be my last name, Decon sounded like a middle name to me). Nice to meet you cousin." I extend my hand out for a handshake.

Evan shakes his head. "What?! Cousin?! Auntie O, when did you get married?" Man, he's freaking out, God damnit.

"Relax Evan. I didn't get married." Imagine if she did marry Deadpool. Oh man, it would be hilarious! "I adopted Razon as my son. I know you two would get along just fine." I could've sworn she hesitated to say son.

My hand is still hanging.

(That's sad.)

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you too, Razon." Now he shakes my hand! "Dude, you're grip is stronger than my dad's."

"I may or may not work out. Here's the truth I don't work a lot."

"That's… cool." He lets go of my hand. "Thanks again for coming tonight guys." Evan is a little bummed out.

"Evan, is everything alright?" We both sit down on the bench. "I've been concerned about you lately. You know, about the things we've discussed before."

"When was this? Was I sleeping?"

"No, this was weeks ago."

"Oh. Okay." I smile.

"Yeah, yeah. No problem Auntie O. It's all cool."

"Evan, we saw what happened to you out there tonight. When you fell."

"How did no one else notice what happened out there? But hey, I'm not gonna be a nitpicker."

"Hey, everything is cool. No big deal. I got it under control." This is the part where he sneezes. "Achoo!" This caused him to fire bone spikes everywhere and nearly hits Mom. But goes through my skull!

( **Ouch. That's gotta hurt man.** ) (Hehe. I like the blood drips.)

This freaks out my two relatives.

"Oh my God! This is bad! I didn't mean to kill him!" 'I should've listened'

I pull the spike out of my skull dripping blood from it.

"It's alright. I got it." The hole through my head heals up quickly. "Healing factors are awesome. But they don't null pain though."

"Razon, don't scare me like that again!" She hugs me tightly with tears in her eyes.

"It's fine. Even though this is first time I've been shot in the head. Oh crap! I could've died. Not. It would've been a blessing to die. By the way, bless you cousin."

She wipes the tears from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry man."

"This is what I was talking about. You could kill someone by accident if you don't learn to control your powers."

"So this means I'm busted?" He scratches his head.

"Big time."

"I'll just assume the blood will clean itself up after the transition."

Evan and Mom look at me like I'm weird. Will people stop doing that?

"Auntie O, is he okay?"

"I don't know. He's pretty crazy."

* * *

After that delightful moment in the boys locker room, the episode cuts to Evan's home where we celebrate Evan's victory in the backyard and Momma Storm wants to have another talk with Evan.

Mr. Daniels still reminisces about the game while cooking on the grill. "Still can't get over that last shot son. What a beauty. I'm gonna remember this game for a long time." The mom comes out and comments.

"Yes. Wasn't it exciting?"

Evan duces them and Mom continues the talk.

"What amazes me is that you kept it concealed this long."

I drop from the tree to get in the conversation.

"Considering that those spikes seem to shoot out every time you sneeze and could possibly pierce someone's skull."

"I said I was sorry."

"I can't be mad at you for too long. We're family." I get close up to his face. "But make sure that never happens again. Okay cus."

"Alright. I never want to get on your bad side."

"Okay then. Imma go talk to my aunt an uncle."

I go over to my aunt and uncle like I said above text.

"Hey Razon, what do you need?" Uncle Daniels asks. "The steak is still on the grill, so you'll have to wait a while."

"Oh, I'm just here to connect with my favorite uncle and aunt."

"We wish to connect with you too. Hmmm, tell you what. You and your mother can visit us for Christmas. How does that sound?"

"Sounds awesome!" I jump in the air for joy.

( **Why?** ) (Why not?) Presents(duh).

"You have a lot of energy for a kid your age. How old are you anyway?" Crap. He just had to ask that one.

"Thirteen. I'm gonna turn fourteen real soon." I think I'm gonna turn fourteen soon. Not sure "Are the steaks ready yet Uncle D?" (Hehe. He said D. Like D for Dick.) ( **We get it. You're a pervert.** )

"Oh, thanks for reminding me. Get em while they're hot!" He puts the steaks on the plate. I would use my force powers. But that might scare them. And that means no food for me.

Evan runs over to get some steak and I walk over to him in a normal way, my way of normal.

"So, how did it go? Did she **scald** you badly?" ( **Stop with the puns dude.** ) Never! It is my destiny.

"It's fine. Auntie O says that I need to practice using-" He gets close to my ear and whispers. "my powers responsibly. I don't get what's the big deal. I can control it all by myself."

I stare at him for a while with huge doubt reminding him of what happened before. He gets my message.

"Okay. I may need just a little bit of practice." Ya think?

"Hey, don't fret man. When I got my powers I killed like 100 security guards. And maybe 10 scientist. And probably about 50 mutants."

Evan eyes widen in shock. "You are one dangerous dude."

"I know. People say that a lot." I said. I want steak now.

I walked over to the grill grabbed two steaks that would've been too hot for a normal person to touch. Everyone seemed to be frozen, as if time had stopped. Weird, that only happens when I deflect bullets, etc, and dodge stuff. Now, I'm moving at full speed while everything is slow.

(*Gasps* Are you a Time Lord?) The Doctor Who theme plays for a few seconds. ( **Highly unlikely. He would've looked like different person every time he died and exploded energy.** ) Yeah, the only way that would happen is if I was in the Doctor Who universe where I was a Time Lord… Don't encourage the author of this to do that readers. (You gotta be as mad as a Hatter to do that. Which I am.) You mean like Maddie Hatter? Crap! Reader. No. There's no way he's doing that. Ever. ( **I don't know. It sounds like fun.** ) No! There's no way I'm going to Ever After High! Never Ever After!

I go back to my original position and time unfreezes.

My prickly cousin is weirded out by this. "Where did you get those steaks from? I didn't see you get it."

"What are you talking about? I walked over to the grill, grabbed two, and walked back here. Everyone was frozen like someone said 'Simon says stand still like time stopped'."

( **That's a weird way to put it.** ) I know.

"Okay. So you have like super speed or something."

"I don'ts knowz. Probablys a mercz thingas." I told him while eating the steak as if it was air.

"Dude, you're eating my dad's steak like it was nothing. Not even he could chew it easily."

"They say I'm more manly than Hugh Jackman. The references will keep coming folks. Always."

"Right. So, why did you dye your hair red?"

"Oh, this is my natural color. Not one strand isn't red."

"That's so cool. I had to dye mine's blond. People already know it's not natural."

"I see you two are getting along quite well." 'Thank the gods.'

"Yeah Auntie O. We sure are."

"Yes. We're getting along so well that I'm staying the night."

"But you can't. You have school tomorrow."

I look at her. Then remembered I had to go to school at some point. Great. Can't wait to learn! Even though I have a voice in my head that knows basically everything. ( **Word.** ) And I'm really intelligent. I don't need school.

I crossed my arms. "I don't want to go to school. School is boring. And I can't kill anyone there."

"You can't kill anyone period." Mom said sternly.

"Just the bad guys right." I smiled.

"Anyone."

"Come on. That blows. Like, hard. Like a prostitute giving a blow-"

Mama covers my mouth before I could finish my sentence. Rude. "I think Razon has had enough food for today. He has to get going now. Maybe he'll see you tomorrow."

"That'll be awesome. See ya next time Raz." E-man enters the with the rest of the family.

"Whelp, time to go home." ( **About time.** )

* * *

I teleport back to the mansion and take off my clothes. I look at my cybernetic-like body, remembering what my real body looks like in the bathroom mirror. I have no toes by the, just thought you guys(or ladies) should know that. Both of my feet look like they're covered in metallic spandex. Yet I still get the ladies.

(Damn, they did a number on your body. Which still looks sexy as hell.)

"Did you say something?"

(No.)

"Okay."

( **Not gonna say a single word about this.** **I'm really** **pissed that you haven't figured it out yet.** )

"Figure what out?"

( **I'm not telling you! You figure it out!** )

"Alright geez. I'll do it later."

I go to my room(by teleportation) and go to bed. Wonder if Rogue will call back?

While that question is ignored, I drift into sleepy sleep. I look around and see that I'm at some sort of beach. Looks like Hawaii, like a lot. I've been to Hawaii plenty of times. Let's just say the people there don't want me to 'party' with them anymore. Like ever.

(Come on. I'm sure they've forgiven you for causing major major major major major major major major property damage. Costing them trillions of dollars. )

( **That's a lot of majors.** )

* * *

Anyway, I look around and see Dream Buddy relaxing in a lawn chair wearing her swimsuit and shades. She must want a vacation already.

"This is like the best day ever. Oh Razorpool. I need another sundae."

Myself appears without the helmet, wearing a black bowtie, holding a sundae in his(my?) robot hand.

"Here you go my lovely Kitten." He(me? Not so sure) gives the drink to her and Kitty blushes when he(me? still not sure) got close to her.

"Thank you Razor." Kitty giggles.

"Your eyes." Dream Me leans in towards her. "They shine brighter than the blue ocean."

The phaser blushes really hard. "Oh really? I-I-I-"

Then, Dream Me kisses her on the lip and Dream Buddy kisses back. Dream Me hugs her while still doing it. It was a full on make-out sesh.

( **Razorpool, you can't possibly be dense about this. This is not a hint. This is full on proof. It's right in front of you!** )

Kitty must be drunk. She can't like a killer like me.

"I love you so much Razorpool." She continued making out with Dream Me.

Maybe she's high, like really high. I know I'm gorgeous, but I think Kitty's a bit out of my league.

(No, you're out of her league. You're Razorpool.)

You do bring up a good point.

I decided to walk over and tap Kitty on the shoulder.

"Dream Buddy. What kind of dream is this?"

She shifts her eyes and realizes that it's the real me. Dream Me instantly fades away in the blink of an eye.

Kitty was so embarrassed she tried to cover her red face with her hands.

"H-h-hey Dream Buddy. You didn't see anything did you? Because nothing happened at all. Nothing at all!"

"Are you sure? Because I could've sworn I saw you making out with me on the very lawn chair you're lying on."

"Nope that didn't happen at all!" She quickly changed the subject. "So um. You wanna hang out? We got plenty of time." Kitty puts her arm around me and nuzzles against my neck.

"Sure. This awkward dialogue doesn't weird me out one bit." I lift my hand up and a ginormous sandcastle rises in front of us.

Dream Buddy is in awe. (Oh sister.)

"Who said that? It sounded like a girl."

(What's it to you, ya wannabe Buffy?)

I was about to go inside the giant sandcastle when I heard the talking.

"Oh yeah. That's one of the two voices in my head."

( **Hi, I'm the rational and smart one. The idiot you were talking too is the female with little to no common sense.** )

Hahahahahahaha! The look on Kitty's face. She looks like she's about to faint.

"Oh. So these are like the voices you talk too? Which explains how you have a conversation with yourself at times."

(No duh.)

"So, I'm just gonna look around inside this sandcastle with my smart voice and see what things I can mess with. You two can hang out in the meantime."

( **Alright. Let's go.** )

I teleport inside the sandcastle.

Kitty just stands there awkwardly.

"I don't know about you, but Imma go seduce my Razy. Later Buffy." The girl wearing the bikini with red and black stripes said. "He's in for a big surprise."

The girl had a bit of pale skin. Her eyes were blood red like her long hair, and she was tall as an Amazon.

Kitty was shocked to see this person right in front of her, about to enter the sandcastle to take away the killer she loves.

"Hey! Who are you!?"

The beauty stops and turns around. And she smiles like an evil seductive villainess. And also poses like one.

"Really? I'm that crazy voice in Razy-poo's head you met just recently. And why did you sound mad? Oh yeah." She glares menacingly at Kitty. "Because you have the hots for my Razy-poo. Well I have news for you Buffy. He is my mine. And don't you forget it. Buffy Kat."

Kitty got angry at that point. Well, even more angrier than before when my crazy voice planed on doing it with me.

"No, he's mine! You like, can't have him!"

"Oooooo. Is that a challenge Buffy? A challenge you can't ever hope to win. I'm shaking in my nonexistent boots." She put her fingers on her lips in a teasing manner(really? manner. what am I, a rich jerk?... oh wait.) "Buffy, you are not gonna beat me. Ok, bye skank!" She teleported inside the sandcastle.

"My name is not Buffy! And you're the one who's the skank! SKANK!"

"Keep telling yourself that Buffy!" She waved from the top of the castle. "I'll be sure to invite you to our wedding!"

"Rrrrrrr!" Kitty phases through the castle and tries to find me first. "Where could he be?"

Meanwhile, back to me! I was still traveling around this sand crib.

( **I need to walk now. Hold on.** )

"There we go. I like this body. It just screams me. What do you think?"

I look at him and see that he looks like a smart kid. Not a nerd, but like a scientist on his day off. Wait a minute that is a nerd still.

"Why did you break into Bruce Banner's closet?"

"Haha, very funny. I just wanted to at least feel human. Or mutant." He looks at the sand portraits. "Look at these works of art. It's really surprising that your mind actually thought of all this."

"It really wasn't that hard. I think. I don't know, I just wanted a giant sandcastle. And a sex dungeon."

He looks at me with a bland expression. "Not even gonna ask."

We continue walking, but I feel like someone is following us.

A seductive figure is peeking from the corner with her eyes on me.

"Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that metal booty." She charges right at me.

I turn around once I heard the footsteps, and I saw, a bodacious Amazon babe. Running straight towards me. Oh crap. She tackled me down onto the ground and straddled me.

"We're gonna have a good time. Just you and me." The Amazon was about to kiss me, but gets tackled off of me by Kitty.

"You will like keep your hands off him!"

"Geez. Calm down. I was only joking. Not really(whispers)."

The nerd was just standing there watching this all happen. He then pinches the Amazon's ear and drags her away to me.

"I want the both of you to explain yourselves, now!"

"Well, Kitty was being mean to me and I ran away to get protection from Razor." She started to shed tears, hugging me very tightly around my neck. "I just wanted to be friends with her! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I pat her on the back. "There, there. Everything is gonna be alright."

"*Sniffs* Can you kiss my forehead? I hit it when I came to you."

Dream Buddy eyes were twitching at the scene.

'I like can't believe this is happening! He can't possibly fall for this!'

I take my helmet off and get ready to kiss her forehead. You might know what happens next.

She grabs my head and kisses me on the lips. I couldn't escape since she held my head. This feels great. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.

The Amazon then pulled away.

"That was great. Let's do it again sometime. Sweetie~."

Her lipstick(which is kinda like blood) was smeared all over my face.

The smart dude was holding Kitty back.

"She's not worth it. Let it go." He deadpanned.

Wait. Couldn't Kitty just phase through him?

Then coincidentally, Kitty phases through his arms and tackles straight into me.

"Calm down Kitty! I think she just slipped."

"Slipped!" She then breathed in and out calmly. "You know what? You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry." Kitty was sarcastic when she said that getting up from the ground.

"I forgive you."

"Glad you two are getting along! Now let's finish this tour." I walk off in a hurry.

"Hey, wait for me!" The nerd ran after me.

The two girls were standing there in the dust. Sanddust.

"Me: 1. Buffy: 0."

"I knew you didn't slip!"

"Well duh Buffy. Next time, me and Razy will do more than kiss. I'm talking about sex."

"I like know!" Dream Buddy's face was burning red with even more rage than before. "Why are you doing this!?"

The beauty puts her finger on her lip to taunt her. "Because, I know everything about Razy-poo. I've been into him since the day I first appeared in his head. I'm somewhat responsible for his violent and crazy personality." She then got serious. "But along came the X-Men. You super-pansies are making him weak and kind. 'Don't kill anyone Razorpool. It's not right to hurt, steal, lie, insult, vandalize, and watch Jean while she takes a shower'! Okay the last one I'm fine with, but the other ones, I'm fucking pissed!"

Kitty couldn't believe this. Why did this crazy conscious fall in love with Razorpool? She's such a bad influence on Razorpool(did the narrator go on a break and we got a substitute?).

"I think we are good for Razorpool. He's becoming a hero. A good person like you said. What's wrong with that? Why can't he like change from killer to hero?"

"Because he's not happy being a hero. Back with Jabba the Gutt, he wanted to kill him so bad, but Roguey got in the way. He was so disappointed that he didn't finish the job. You see Buffy, Razorpool is not machine you can control with a remote control. He's not a gun that you can use by pulling the trigger. He's a weapon that can't be stopped no matter what. And I don't want you X-Dorks to get in the way of that. You hear me?"

"I hear you."

"Nice try Buffy. Let me rephrase that. Is it understood that you will not interfere? Period!" (Yes. I knew she would try to be slick.)

"Yes. But I won't listen to you. And I just realized, I love Razorpool. Yeah, you heard me, I love him!"

"We both know he can't be with you. Because he's a violent sociopath. You're better off with that Big-Nose Lance guy."

"You mean the guy who ran away when the ceiling fell on me and Razorpool saved my life. Yeah sure, let me go with a cool guy like that."

The beauty began to smile maliciously. "I get it now, you don't love him. You just have a crush on him. All because he saved your pathetic life. That's just too adorable. If you really love him, then tell me why. And don't lie, because I'll know."

Kitty was mortified by this. 'Do I love him? Was it only a schoolgirl crush? Wait a minute, I got it.' "I feel a connection with him. I can't explain it. But, I feel safe around him. I feel warm. I trust him. But I can't trust Razorpool all the time."

"I understand."

"I don't care if he goes back to being a murderer, it doesn't matter to me. I'll still feel the connection I just know it!" Tears were running from her eyes.

"We'll pick this up another time. TTFN(TA TA FOR NOW). Buffy." She disappeared.

Kitty wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Hey Kitty, are you coming with us or not?" I asked her. "There are sand burgers Kitty. SANDBURGERS!"

"O-okay." She stuttered.

"Did something happen? Was there a salesman around? I hate those cheap knockoffs products they try to sell us."

"I'm fine." She lied. "I feel like it's almost time to wake up."

"Me too."

* * *

I suddenly woke up from the dream.

"So she wasn't lying." I said as I looked outside the window. The sun was shining. That means I have to start school. That also means one of my teammates are coming to wake me up.

Oh my god! It's Jean! Better pretend to sleep.

I put the covers on quickly and started snoring. Loudly(duh).

The telepathic hot chick starts to shake me.

"Wake up Razon. It's time for school." 'Professor said I had a better chance of waking him up. He may be annoying, but it's kinda cute that he has a crush on me. I think.'

I then pretend to yawn and rise up from my bed.

"Morning Jean-Babe. You must've wanted to sleep with me."

"It's morning you dumba-" 'Nope. Not gonna let him get to me. The good news is that I'm not gonna be in the same class as him.' "No, that's not it at all. Like I said before, it's time for school, so get ready." She smiled, trying not to sound angry. "Now please. And one more question. Why did you sleep with your helmet on?"

"Because I can."

( **Great answer.** )

Anyway, I take my helmet off and I notice that Jean was staring at me like someone put a spell on her.

"You do know you can watch me change? I mean you have looked at me naked before plenty of times."

My sentence caused her blush since she remembers what I said last night about me being naked the whole time.

"I know that, you don't need to remind-." Jean stopped once she saw me changing into my clothes from yesterday midway putting my pants on.

"Like what you see bae?"

Jean was about to stutter. 'Jean, you've seen him naked before. His privates aren't even visible. It's just a metal lump like an action figure. What would Scott think if he saw me watching him get dressed?'

I finished dressing up and just put my gloves on.

( **What happened to Jean?** ) What are you talking about?

I look down and see that Jean fainted with steam coming out of her ears having a red face(is this a mutant thing?) (I don't know.) ( **No, it's not.** ). Oh no. This looks like a bad scene.

I hope no one comes in right now… Wait, I take it back! I take it back!

Just then, Mom came in. Oh shitballs.

"Razon I came here to check on you. Hope you didn't mess up any-" She stopped once she saw a red faced Jean on the floor.

'Oh no!' Mama Storm had a terrified expression on her face. "I knew this would happen one day." She runs over to Jean and tries to wake her up. "Jean, Jean are you there! Jean!" Mama faces me. "What did you do to her!?"

I put my hands up in defense. "Woah! All I did was get dressed in front of her. Then she started blushing, then steam came out of her ears, I saw a unicorn fly by, then she fainted."

"*Sighs* Just go get some water! Now!"

"Okay geez Mom! Gosh!"

* * *

I run out to get some water downstairs where the kitchen is, grab a glass, and go to the sink.

"Come on, hurry up!" This damn sink is taking too long with the water!

(What's wrong? Didn't you turn the nozzle?) ( **He did. But more importantly. Why are Kitty, Kurt, and Scott frozen in place?** )

"Huh?" I turn around and see my mentioned teammates eating their breakfast, but stopped. "This is normal. But normal compared to me anyway."

You know what? I'm just gonna run to an ocean, and collect water. Or just teleport. Maybe if I teleport everything will be fixed.

( **It's worth a shot.** )

I teleported to an ocean and quickly collected a glass full of water. I made it back to my room splashing liquid on Jean's face.

* * *

Then time resumed.

"What the? How did you get it so-"

"Uhh. Razon, what did you do to me!?"

"Not what you might be thinking. Though I wish I did do it."

Jean ignores my last sentence and gets up. "I just came to wake you up and then you started changing in front of me. It was very...inappropriate." Jean's blush was still visible.

"Shame on you Razon. I thought you better were better than this."

"Really Mom, you really thought I wouldn't do something inappropriate? Especially with Jean?"

'He's right. I should've known this would happen.' "Just go to school. And behave. The Professor has put in a **good** word for you. Go straight to the principal's office. And don't embarrass yourself, and the rest of the X-Men."

"I'll try."

Mom just sighs, knowing that I'll get into trouble.

* * *

At the school, I sit the principal's office. She looks very pissed at me. Her last name is Darkhölme.

"So, you're Razon Decon **Wilson**." Why did she say Wilson with such hate? Did she meet a guy who had the same last name? "Let me set some ground rules. 1. I run this school. 2. You will follow all the rules and guidelines, or face the consequences. 3. Don't get on my bad side. You hear me?"

"I hear you." I then walk out the door. "But I didn't say would listen."

(I love it when you're a bad boy.) ( ***Sighs*** )

* * *

I went to my class… and I was pissed off. Why? Because it was a special class. For retards. Seriously. I'm not retarded. Just weird. And perverted. And a criminal.

The teacher was an old fart. His name is Mr. Trumpers. Oh Christ. The jokes that can be made right now.

"Ah, it seems like our new student is here. Come, introduce yourself to the class."

"Fine." I step to the front. "Hi, my name Razon D. Wilson. And I like titties. Jean Grey. Drugs. Crime. And porn."

The entire class looked at me like I had three heads. Some of them whispered some stuff.

"A badass and a cutie. My kind of guy." There is definitely something wrong with her.

"What a weirdo."

"Why is his hair red like that?"

"Is he a mutant?"

"Take your seat Mr. Wilson."

I take my seat and walk out the class with it.

"What are you doing!?"

"You said to take my seat. So I'm doing it. See you later."

"Get back here this instant!"

"Fine!"

( **Already causing trouble.** )

I sit down next to punk chick and she looks at me funny.

"So, you want the dick don't you?"

"How'd you guess Red?"

"Been in the game long enough to know. Went out with a couple of prostitutes, mutants, and a fish."

"Funny too. I like that. What say you and me hang out after school?"

"Sure, after I do this."

"Do wha-". I kissed her on the lips.

(I hate you! I will never forgive you! Ever!)

I parted away from her and started causing trouble in the class. (the things I'm doing right now are so bad, that it'll scar you for life, so we at will skip this scene.)

* * *

At the principal's office, again, Mr. Trumpers is freaked out from my fiasco.

"H-h-h-he's not human! I don't think he's even a mutant! The things he did in my class!" He then starts crying. "I don't know what to do with him!"

"I do. Mr. Wilson, you are being moved to a different class!"

"Yay!" I put my hands in the air.

* * *

At Jean's class, the young hot telepath is relaxed that she is learning in class, without any annoying little, somewhat cute, cyborg to ruin her relaxation.

"Class, we have a new student joining us today, please welcome Razon D. Wilson." The teacher announces.

"Yay! I'm in the smart class!"

'Oh no. This has to be a joke. Or maybe a dream. Razor cannot be here, he doesn't have the intelligence.'

"I was surprised that he was able to transfer to this class. Now, sit down next to Jean Grey."

I quickly did what he said and sat next to my girl.

"Hi Jean. Missed me? I know you did."

Jean leans her head on her hands. 'I can never get a break.'

All the students were skeptical about me being in this class with Jean.

"Alright class turn your book to page 42."

Everyone(except me of course) did what he said. I was drawing.

( **What are you doing?** ) Drawing. (Drawing what? A beer bottle? A prostitute? A thot?)

Unfortunately, the teacher catches on to my activity.

"Mr. Wilson! What are you doing!?"

( **It hasn't even been a minute yet and already you're in trouble.** )

"Drawing a picture."

"Well. Would you care to show the class your work of art?"

"Sure." I step to the front of the class. Everyone was staring at me and waiting to see what my picture is. "Okay. Here it is." I show them the picture and Jean blushes again. It was a master piece(of crap). It was me and Jean. "Here, me and Jean are sitting under a cherry blossom tree making out." I show them another picture. "Here's me, proposing to Jean. Here, me and Jean are getting married at a warzone full of cheeseburgers and tacos. I got like a hundred more if you guys would like to see them."

"That's enough. Go back to your seat."

The whole class was struggling not to laugh.

"Alright." I go back to my seat and see Jean blushing. "So, you liked my pictures."

'I have to tell him.' "Razon, I have a boyfriend." What!? "His name is Duncan. You know that already. Please, don't kill him."

"Oh, okay." I read my porn magazine.

(Are you okay?) ( **Yeah, you're surprisingly handling this all pretty well.** ) If I kill Jean's boyfriend then she won't do it with me. Or will she?

I just going to skip to lunchtime.

* * *

At lunchtime, I sit with my teammates.

"So, how were the classes?" Kitty asked.

"It was awesome." I said while eating. "I learned so much today."

"No you didn't."

"Vhat do you mean Scott? I'm sure the ninja learned a lot."

"He was flirting with Jean, jumped around the whole classroom, annoyed the teachers, and still somehow managed to get an A+."

"Correction, an A++. And another +."

"You can't be that smart!"

"I'm part robot, what did you expect Cole?"

"Stop calling me that."

"I think Razon has potential." Thanks Jean.

"See, Jean babe knows my IQ thingy in brain."

Scotty just sighs at my sentence.

"For the last time Razon, I have a boyfriend. And he'll probably beat you up really-" She stopped once she saw my 'you really think your boyfriend can whoop my ass' look.

"What Jean? Were you gonna say," I get up and start mocking Jean. " 'Oh! My boyfriend Duncan Matthew's can kick your ass!' Well guess what Jean Elaine Grey!? I, Razon Decon Wilson, ain't scared of Duncan Mutha-Fuckin Matthews! And I hate TAXES!"

The whole cafeteria stayed silent. Did someone fart?

"Hey Wilson!" And there's the box head. You can tell he's angry by the way he yells me and his stomping. "I heard you've been flirting with my girl! Now I'm mad!"

( **What is it with you and starting fights!?** )

"Alright, bring it boxhead!" I jump down from the table to get ready for a rumble.

I threw the first punch and knocked him into the Brotherhood's table out cold, destroying Blob's huge tray of food.

This made Fatty angry.

"Who, messed with my food!?"

"I did! What are you gonna do about it!? Jabba!"

His anger stop when he heard my insult, and the sound of my voice.

Fathead started to back away in fear. "No, it can't be. You shouldn't be here!"

"Who is this chump Fred? And why are you scared of him? The only person you were scared of is that robot freak." Lance takes a glance at me then figures it out. "You! We have a score to settle!"

"Oh yeah, Big Nose. Let us settle it now."

He throws a punch to my face, but it did nothing. Then my chest, he only succeeded in hurt his fist.

"My turn." I threw a karate chop at his arm and hurt it really bad.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Do you want to continue this? I'm not even trying dude." But I have to fake pain to my face. "But ow! That punch to the face really hurts!" I hold my nose. Nothing bad can happen to me now.

( **You just had to say something.** ) (Christ man.)

* * *

At the principal's office. For the third time! Darkhölme is really pissed at me.

"You are unbelievable! Two times in a row! In one day!"

"Yeah… Not my best record. Thought that it would be like twenty-one."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Oooooo! She's gonna blow a gasket! Awesome! But she calmly breaths in and out, almost catching a heart attack. "You. Know. What? I have an idea." She smiles like the Grinch. Uh oh. She presses a button on her desk. "Send Miss Marie into my office. Immediately."

Couple of minutes went by and Rogue enters the room.

"You called me Ms. Darkhölme?"

"Yes I did. I want you and Mr. Wilson to spend the rest of the day together. Mr. Wilson, Miss Marie will be watching you to keep you out of trouble." She faces Rogue. "Call me if he does anything… him."

"Understood." Rogue sounded really pissed off.

"Now, get out!"

* * *

The door slams shut.

I look at Rogue and smile.

"So Roguey, glad to see me? Of course you did. Still with the super bullies? I see you've gotten even sexier since the last time I saw you. Did you work out? If so, what did you do? Can I join next time? Are you still up for-" She put her finger on my mouth with an aggravated expression.

"Can ya shut up for one second!? And how do ya even know my name?"

"You already forgotten about me? It's me! Razorpool!"

Her eyes widened in surprise, then she started smiling with joy.

"Razorpool. Is that really you?"

I teleported out of her sight and come back with a bouquet of roses and violets.

"I stole this from a rich guy's garden. Just for you Roguey."

The energy vampire takes the bouquet with a blush.

"Why, thank you. Hey, remember that promise you told me?"

"I think so. Why do you-"

I was interrupted when she kissed on the lips, holding my head in place. Wowza. I kiss her back and we soon started making out against someone's locker.

(Are you kidding me!? Two times in one day!) ( **Haha. Today is a good day. For me.** )

We then started to do tongue on tongue action. It was crazy, it started to get more and more intense, the locker broke behind us.

Roguey parted away from me. Giving me crazy eyes. Uh oh. "Come on! You can do better than that baby! Give it to me hard like a brick breaking someone's skull, basically getting skull-fucked!"

"Okay." I do what she says, but it seems like she's the dominant one here.

This went on for like an hour or so. Students were keeping their distance from us.

"*Gasp* That was fun! Let's do it again sometime! Give the readers more fanservice! And me more service suger~."

(Did she just-) ( **Break the fourth wall? Yes.** )

"Yeah-wait what!? I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"I said give me more service, surger. Oh you mean the part before that? I said give the readers more fanservice."

"Um, how are you doing that?"

"Doing what sugarlips? Breaking the fourth wall? That's easy. You."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you kissed me. Skin-to-skin contact. I've got your powers, and personality since you've kissed me for too long(I think)."

"Okay… So are you gonna give me back the real Rogue uhh, Roguepool?"

"Ha, it's still RP like Razorpool. To answer your question. You're gonna have to do me a teeny weeny tiny favor before I do that."

"Shoot."

She puts finger on my head like a gun. "Boom, headshot baby." The crazy chick started laughing. "Yes I'm laughing. Duh."

"Don't steal my duh."

"Alright. I want you, to turn around." I just shrug my shoulders and did what she said. "Now, let me blindfold you."

She did just that and guided me to some room.

"Where are we?"

( **I have a bad feeling about this.** )

* * *

The blindfold got taken off and we were in a closet.

"I think you know what comes next. Suger."

"So, for me to get Rogue back l have to have sex with you?"

"Shut up and just do it!"

"Alright. What could possibly go wrong?"

( **My god.** )

* * *

 _An hour later._

"Where is he!?"

"Calm down Scott. I'm sure he close by." Kitty said looking around hall.

"I still can't get a reading on his mind, even though he has his helmet off."

"Then it's not ze helmet that makes zim mind proof."

Scott shushes them as he heard some weird and disturbing sounds. Kitty hears this… I think you guys can guess her reaction.

"No, it can't be. Please don't let it be what I think it is."

Jean comforted her. "Kitty calm down. I'm sure it's probably-" Really? Again!?

"Oh, yeah! Give me more ya raging sexy machine! More! It would be very weird if someone heard this really inappropriate dialogue!"

"Shut up and keep going! Actually talk more, I love your voice~."

"Oh yeah! Harder!"

Outside the closest.

"I think Kurt should open it. After all, he's the most curious."

"Nein, it should be you fearless leader. Take ze honor."

"No no, I insist. You take the honor."

"Get out of my way, I'll do it. Cowards."

The telepath opens the door and gasps in shock finds me and Rogue having sex on the floor. My true body was completely exposed since all of my clothes are off, and so was Roguepool. _Yeah I am. Kitty must be so jealous._

Kitty's left eye was twitching at the action. 'Why?' _Because I'm sexier than you._

"Ahem!" Jean was upset.

We stopped making love and saw the team looking at us.

Roguepool smiles at them. "Sup X-Dorks, no offense bae."

"None taken. Hey guys. What're you doing here? It's kinda rude to run in on us."

"Rude! You are literally sleeping with the enemy! And your calling us rude!?"

"Yes Jean. I'm calling you rude."

"Razy-poo. Let's leave please."

(That's what I call him!) _Tough cookies._

I teleported us out of there.

"Where did they go?" Scott asks.

"It's Razorpool, he could be anywhere." Jean said.

* * *

At my room, me and Roguepool land on my bed. The crazy energy vampire looks at me with lust.

"Let's continue!"

"No. I already did it with you, so give me back my Rogue."

"Please~!" She starts giving me puppy-dog eyes. "I'm giving you the puppy eyes. And my tits are exposed to you."

( **Razorpool, resist them. For once in your eternal life, resist the tits.** ) It's so difficult.

She's squeezing them together.

"Okay, let's make a deal. If you bring back Rogue, I'll have sex with you anytime you want. Deal? It's an offer you can't refuse."

"Hmmm. Alright, but before I go." There's that look again. She kisses me on the lips holding my head with her new strength. Her eyes turned from blood red to her natural green eyes.

She looks at me with confusion and starts freaking out when she realizes she's naked.

"Where are my clothes? Why was I kissing you in this room? And, why am I not mad at you?"

"Long story short. You kissed me, went crazy, we had sex, and now you're back."

Rogue hugs me. "Thank you." She covers her tits. "Do you have any clothes?"

I reach under my bed and grab a girl's tank top and booty shorts. "Here."

"I'm not even gonna ask why you have girl clothes. But, thank you. And I'm sorry."

I was confused. Why is she sorry? "Why are you sorry? That was the one of the best sex I'll ever have in my life. And that's saying a lot from me. You were wild. Like a lion."

Rogue blushes real hard. "Really? Hehe. Well, can you take me back? I don't want Darkhölme to get suspicious." She asked as she just finished dressing.

"Alright, I have to go somewhere anyway. Oh, and I forgot to give you this glove last chapter."

I give her the glove and put my hand on her shoulder(not noticing her blush) and teleported her to wherever she wanted to go.

* * *

AT NIGHT! ( **You don't have to yell you know?** ) Spike is at his school, looking like he's trying to catch a thief.

"Okay Sneak Thief, you wanna play tonight? The Spike Man is ready." He crouches down and then instantly hears footsteps. "Just a little closer."

The figure stops right by him, only to be greeted with a spike to the throat.

"Huh, who are you? Are you the thief?"

"Whoa there cuz. It's a me! Razon."

He runs his eyes in disbelief. "Really? I couldn't tell with the helmet on. And the cyber ninja suit."

"This isn't a suit. It's my real body." I crouch down to his level. "What are we looking for?"

(A beer bottle.) ( **You need help.** )

"Trying to catch this thief that keeps taking my money. And today's the day I catch that scumbag. I mean, we catch that scumbag."

"Guess this is our bonding time." I then hear some wind. "You here that? Some air flew by us." I whispered.

The wind got even stronger and opened up all the locker with it's draft, creating a mini-twister.

"What the heck?"

"This isn't no ordinary wind cuz." ( **No kidding.** )

"Well, whatever it is, it stops now."

He uses his spikes to create a barrier to stop the wind. Did that sound right? Whatever, the wind stops and reveals to be Pietro in a blue spandex costume that looked like he made it in seconds.

"Pietro?"

"Old man?"

Piety got pissed off at me. "You, shut up. And, call me Quicksilver. Like the outfit? Made it myself. Took about a quarter second."

"Sure seems like it. Hehe."

"Shut it Metal Mouth!"

"A speedster telling someone to shut up. That's a first. Usually it's the other way around."

Pietro breathes in and out very quickly to calm down. "I see you have tricks of your own. But as usual-" He runs around and takes away all the spikes. "Not as good as mine. And you brought backup. Smart. Still won't help you" though."

"You? You got powers too?"

"Duh! Finally. Remember Daniels, anything you can do, I can do better." He steals his wallet at high speed. "I'll take that."

"Yo Speedy, why'd ya rip off my cuz?"

"Kicks man, for the challenge. When you live as fast as I do, there aren't enough things that can keep me busy for long." He runs circles around us. "And you two thought you could stop me. Well, *buzz* wrong again." The silver haired douche bag slapped me in face but hurt his hand. "Ow, pretty durable. Must be your power."

"Hey, are you good at dodging?" I ask him.

"Yes. Why-" A bag went flying to his head hard. He quickly recovers. "Two powers? No fair!"

"When did you care about being fair?"

"Point taken Daniels." He shoves Evan into me. "Well, you two will spend some quality time together. Can you guys say, scapegoat?" He runs off... Pussy.

"What he talkin bout cuz?" I asked.

"I don't know."

But then, the police came in with their sirens blaring. We than heard them. Wait, two black people at a crime scene? This isn't gonna end well.

"Freeze!"

We put our hands in the air as we were surrounded.

(Do something! Kill them all!) No. (Why!?) Because, I miss being in a jail cell. ( **Of course.** )

At a jail cell. Evan was rattling the bars while I was playing the harmonica.

"Dude, can't you teleport us out?"

"I would, but we'll be out in no time anyway. And I want to practice my harmonica skills."

"*Sighs*" He sits down next to me. "When did it all go wrong?"

"When Piety ran like a pussy. And when he knock us down." I played a tune. " _We've been duped by speedster."_ Play the tune again. " _I'll get him back by having sex with his sister."_ I play the jail tune again. " _And then I'll kill his dad."_ I did the same thing again. " _Because he made us real mad!"_ Spike snatched the harmonica away from me.

"Dude, stop."

"Come on! I was about to do my spectacular number."

We hear some people walk to us.

"Evan, what happened?" Auntie D? "And, who's that?"

Both of us get up to walk to the front. Scott, _Jean-Babe,_ Uncle D, Auntie D, Mom, were all standing outside our cell.

"That's Razon. Or, as he calls himself, Razorpool." Mom answered. "That's his true body." She didn't sound surprised.

"You don't sound surprised that I'm in jail."

"But I am surprised that you allowed the cops to take you to jail."

"I feel more comfortable playing the harmonica here."

Scott just rubs his head. "Welcome to the downside guys. Misuse your powers, go to jail."

"It wasn't us man!"

I bet Jean will us feel better. "Hey, I believe you Evan. In fact, I know you didn't do it."

"What about me? You believe me, right Jean?"

"No, you're most likely the perpetrator. But Evan knows it wasn't you. So I believe him."

"Evan, please listen to me. Let us help you." Mom then turns to me. "And you, we're going to have a talk when we get back to mansion."

"Believe it or not, I'm actually innocent!"

"No, I'm talking about your **time** with Rogue." Oh no.

"Who snitched? Was it Scott? I bet it was."

"Actually, it was Jean." He told me.

I turn to my lover. "Jean, why would betray me?"

"If anyone betrayed anyone, it was you. You had sex with another girl."

"I'm sorry- Wait a minute. You keep saying that we aren't dating, yet you feel betrayed by me bangin Rogue. Is there something you want to tell us Jean?"

"No!" She yells immediately with a huge blush. "Nothing at all! Scott!"

Scott was scared. "Oh right. Sorry Jean, let me continue. Let's make a deal Evan. The Professor will use his influence to get you outta here. And you give the institute a shot." He extends his hand to Evan. "What do you say?"

"Like I got a choice."

"Hey, you always got a choice. We just want to help make it the right one."

"*Sighs* Okay, deal." He shakes his hand. "I just don't want to hear Razorpool singing for months."

"I have a beautiful voice."

* * *

In the morning. The X-Men discuss some serious stuff about Evan.

"So like, where's this new guy? And where's Razorpool?" Kitty asked.

"Evan's still sleeping. And Razorpool… I don't even know." Baldy said rubbing his head.

Nightcrawler teleports to the scene.

"Ah, I love ze smell of bacon in ze morning."

"I think they who really trashed those lockers. Did they tell you?" Scotty asked.

"No. And I'm not going to pry. They'll tell us when they're ready. But Evan most likely."

"I say they're looking to settle that score personally. Pass the sausages Red."

Jean-Babe uses her powers to pass the sausages to the old fart. But then, I teleported to the scene and took the weiners.

"Mine!" I teleported out of there.

Wolvie got pissed. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! RAZORPOOL!"

* * *

Meanwhile, at Principal Darkslut's office. All the Brotherhood members were waiting outside her office, and Roguey was annoyed with Toad's questions about her time with me.

"I heard you and Robot-Boy were inside a closet making love. Is it true?"

"Shut ya mouth before I do it for ya."

Inside her office, the principal is having a talk with the mysterious figure.

"I'm honored that you've come."

"I'm not here for your little, student body meetings, Mystique. Behold!" He shows a hologram of Quickdumper.

"Ah, so this is the speed demon I've heard so much about."

"Pietro Maximoff. He is of special interest to me." Whoa, I didn't know he swings like that. "I have been waiting for just the right moment to approach this young man. And now is the time."

"Then we shall extend the hand of friendship to the boy."

"It will not be that easy. Je believes he needs no one. However, there may be a way." A hologram of Evan appears. "Young Pietro has had a grudge rivalry with Evan Daniels."

"The new student Xiaver enrolled here last week. Along with that… thing."

"I heard rumors of a mercenary that was designed to kill mutants. He has skills that make it seem like he was trained since birth. He can be nowhere, and everywhere. His swords can cut through even the most invincible of mutants. People who survive his wrath, have nightmares for the rest of their life. And, that his most deadly power is his mouth. They call him, The Razorpool." Hmmm, this Razorpool sounds familiar. And sexy. "Have you made progress with him?"

"Yes, Miss Marie is handling it as we speak."

"And as for Pietro. I think Mr. Daniels wants to settle the score personally."

"Well then. I know just how to bring them together." Oh no, did she just hint at the SpeedSpyke ship.

"Excellent. And I will take it from there."

* * *

So now the scene cuts back to the X-Mansion. Where we help Spyke(wearing his new X-Men uniform) train with this skate course so crazy even Tony Hawk wouldn't dare go near it.

"You guys got me here to train. So let's train."

( **This is going to end badly.** )

Minutes later, Spyke fell on his ass. Crazy ass skate course. All I can remember is flying balls. And lasers. I feel to him.

"Not too bad cuz."

"Didn't help that you kept using your powers to mess with my skateboard."

I help him up.

"Spyke, coach just called. Says that you gotta come to the gym. You got a game tonight." Kitty says, looking away from me.

"There wasn't one on the schedule."

"Well there is now. Coach says that Principal Darkhölme put it together last minute. Says he wants you suited up in an hour cause your up against P.S 104."

"Hey, that's your school! Where Pietro stills… attends." … "You know what? I'm going to cheer you on. Not just so we can jump Pietro, no no no. Not at all."

Jean didn't believe me one bit.

* * *

At nighttime at the school. P.S 104 bus comes along and the all the players come out. Including Pietro!

"Hey Maximoff!"

"You son of a bitch!" You can tell that I said that. I'm wearing my original attire. With the helmet off.

"Well well. Seems like the both of you are out of jail already. Or is this miserable dump part of your punishment?"

"We got a score to settle Pietro!" He tries to grab him but Pietro was too fast.

"As usual too slow. Props for the attitude."

I punch Speedy in the face knocking him on the ground.

He runs his cheek.

"Ow, so, your fast too." He immediately gets up.

Scott puts his hand on his shoulder. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing we can't handle."

"Is this the guy who was stealing from the locker?" Jean asked.

"Stay out of this Jean-Babe."

"Is this true?"

"Why, yes. I trashed those lockers. What? You gonna do something about it?"

"I thought you better-". Pietro throws him on the ground.

"I don't think so."

"That's it Pietro! You're going down this time!" Pietro just knocks him down. Damn ! Everyone is getting knocked down in this chapter.

"Sounds like a challenge." He runs off.

Spyke skates after him putting on his costume.

"Man, that guy's fast."

"No duh Cole."

" We can't let him do this alone."

"When your with the X-Men, your never alone. Let's go."

"Yeah boi!" I put on my helmet and tear off my clothes and run after them.

* * *

At the town area. Pietro and Spyke are duking it out. Both in their respective costumes.

"Your outta your league Daniels!"

"Not this time!"

The speedster just trips his skateboard, making Spyke fly into a wall.

"Call this a challenge? You can't even touch me. No matter what I do. Check it out Spyke-Boy! Say bye-bye to Bayville!"

He runs around at high speed, destroy everything in his path. Hey, that's my job!

Me, Scotty, and Jean-Babe appear to scene in our costumes.

( **Hmm.** ) (What?) ( **I have a plan. Razorpool, use your force powers to increase the gravity around Pietro.** ) (And knock him around!)

"Great idea."

"But no one said anything Pool."

"Scotty, I have a plan."

"That's a first." Jean says.

But it involves Spyke and Jean."

Quickdumper runs back to us, with Spyke standing I'm his way.

"Come at me Maximoff!"

"Sounds like a challenge!"

What, a dumbass. Jean uses her powers to lift the criminal in the air. But he starts to spin around creating a huge twister.

"I can't hold him."

"Hold onto this baby! It's twister time!"

Everyone grabbed onto a pole holding on for dear life. Except me, who teleported to Pietro and punched him in the face crashing him into the ground.

Jesus Christ. But he got back up.

"So, you think you can keep up with me? Let's find out Robot-Boy."

"We'll see. For the cheeseburgers!"

He runs again causing trouble, and I run after him. What I noticed was that I was going faster and faster. Pietro looks behind and sees me approaching him fast.

"What the? How are you catching up? I'm supposed to be the fastest!"

"I think it's time for you to slow down Piety." I put my hand out towards him and he starts going slower.

"Hey! What are you doing!? How are you slowing me down!?"

"Take it away Scotty!"

Cyclops fires a beam and knocks him into a wall.

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Now Spyke!"

Spyke shot a couple of spikes at Pietro, pinning him to the wall.

"I can't get loose! I get loose!"

"Not so fast now are ya Quickdumper?"

"So what Robot-Boy? You still prove that I had anything to do with those lockers."

"Is that a challenge?"

I tap my helmet and it replays what he said earlier.

" _Why, yes. I trashed those lockers. What? You gonna do something about it?_ It was all Evan's idea. Looks like we won cuz!"

"Yeah!"

We hi-five each other.

"Ow."

"Keep forgetting about robo-hands. Sorry."

"Looks like some of that training did pay off."

We then heard the cops and bolt outta there, leaving Pietro.

* * *

The next day. (POOL PARTY!) Right. Everyone is wearing swimming trunks and bathing suits. Especially Jean.

Kurt cannonballs into the pool and flips Kitty over.

"Kurt knock it off!"

"Congratulations Evan. I understand you've been cleared of all charges."

"Thanks Professor, but it wouldn't have been possible without my cousin."

"Yeah!"

"*Sighs* I can't believe I'm saying this. But, I'm proud of you Razon. You(somehow) proved that you can be a great leader like Scott, or even better. Maybe."

"Aw." I hug her. "Thanks Mom." I turned to Spyke. "You ready?"

"You know it."

We both jump at the same time and-

"Cannonball/Cannonball!"

Everyone got wet, and Kitty was the most upset, but she hugs me anyway.

All I have to say is. I love my new family. And cheeseburgers. See ya next chapter. ( **Bye** /Bye.)

* * *

 **A/N: That took longer than expected. Hope you guys enjoyed. 😎**


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